Category: Support

Aches & Pains Update

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For those of you who are reading my blog; an update on effects from the aneurysm and surgery.

As or the last couple of days, I have felt pretty good. Still, the time I most feel head pain is first thing in the morning and sometimes right before falling asleep. Sinus pressure still seems to effect me greatly darn it and I’ve had two migraines since the surgery…double darn it.

I still have Vicodin, but only take it when the pain is very sever, which is still can be, but much less frequently. Usually the Tylenol helps, or closing my eyes.

I’m still struggling with stamina…or lack there of. I can do laundry and get a little tired, but talking for a long time or being around a lot of talking can really make me feel exhausted.

I’ve been working 5 to 6 hours a day, twice a week and by the time I get home I’m really pooped. Sometime with a bad headache that last for hours, but for the most part, once I eat something and rest for a bit, it feels better.

Overall, I’m doing better. I’m walking three times a week, just inside. We have a one-story, ranch-style house, so it’s a nice trek and it feels good to have some exercise and get my heart rate going.

I have a friend who’s father is currently dying from cancer. Sadly, there is nothing they can do for him and I’m told, even though she knows he is in pain, he is not complaining.

I was lucky in that I was able to have surgery to correct my problem and I AM complaining. I’ve tried to stop it. My little aches and pains are minor compared to what he is going through and what I’ve already gone through. The worst of my recovery
is over. Frustration and some lingering “after-effect” are all I have to contend with now and I should just buck up and tell people I’m “Good!”. Because, after what I HAVE been there, I truly am. And I’m very lucky to be alive, have all my motor functions and to be able to work some. I have the luxury of time for my recovering, her father does not and God bless him for being so strong for his family.

The Big Drive!

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I work 30 miles away from my house. It’s a nice 60 mile drive round trip and especially icky on winter days, but since we have had no winter yet to speak of, I thought I’d try the drive today on my day off from work.

I had a Dr’s appointment up in that area. I had Dave drive me up in my car to the appointment, then I drove home. The “busier” part of the trip was at the start, so the easier part was towards the end. It really worked out well, especially at that time of day. Noonish.

The drive didn’t really bother me. I noticed my concentration kind of wavered a bit once we got closer to home, but that may have only been due to the fact I was very hungry and there wasn’t as much to keep me at attention during that section.  You forget just how much you should concentrate while driving…and how much I just took for granted. It’s taxing.

As my friend Deb in NY said after I told her about the drive:“We forget how much concentration driving actually requires until we don’t do it for a while. Sometimes, some of us should keep in mind just how much we should be concentrating on our driving instead of putting lipstick on, lighting a cig, drinking coffee, eating something…(and I can do ALL of those
things AND drive stick, but really, should I?  I think not…)”

This was a big step today. I’m glad I did it. Not sure I’m just ready yet for the whole drive and it may not happen again for a couple of weeks, but at least I know my limitations a little bit and at least one way….it wasn’t bad. I was tired and my eyes were bothering me, but nothing horrible.  So, that’s a very good thing.

Sometimes Too Much

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There are several aneurysm survivor’s message boards/support groups out there online. While I was still in the hospital, I found it very comforting to talk to someone who was going through the same thing. If there were a local group here in Maine of people who survived aneurysms,  I’d probably be going to that as well.

But, for all the help, comfort and positive reinforcement I have been given on the message board I belong to, it can also be a bit scary. There are many survivors who have gone through, and continue to go through much worse after-effects and problems than I have. For those folks, I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine living with multiple unruptured annies. Little time-bombs waiting to go off unless they can be
operated on. I had one…I just didn’t know it.

There are people who have gone through less than me as well. Some are lucky enough to have found their annies during a scan BEFORE they rupture and have the surgery. We all go through some of the same symptoms, but no two stories are exactly alike, which causes me some upset.

Although my last MRI looked good, I’m worried that something else will show up on my angiogram in April. Chances are it won’t, but because I read a lot of stories of people who go back for a check up and something shows up, it has caused some concern. I hate to worry about something that may not happen, and probably won’t, but reading all the stores makes me think about it, which in turn….well, it makes me worry. I don’t lose sleep over it, I just think about it and have a twinge of concern. I’m sure as soon as the date for my angiogram gets closer, I WILL think about it more.

Sometimes I just need to step away from the message aboard for a few days and remember how lucky I am and not read the horror stories. I know that seems horribly selfish, but I need to think about me now and what I have accomplished and not take a step back and let worry consume me. So far, it hasn’t, but who knows what’ll happen down the road. Hopefully nothing! And I need to concentrate on that.

Survivor’s guilt hits me when I read the stories of others who are still suffering so much after their annies have ruptured. Why am I different from them? What led my annie to bleed less than others? Again…we’re all different, but the common denominator, and the reason I keep going back to the boards, is that we’re all survivors! God bless everyone who’s had an annie…ruptured or not.

Second Day of Work

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I promise I won’t bore anyone who might be reading this with a daily account of each day I go into work, but the second
day went better than the first.

I felt better and more comfortable there this time and still only worked about 5 hours. I don’t want to push it. I
have a headache tonight, but nothing as bad as it was Tuesday night. Dave dropped me off and picked me up again.

A few people have started to ask me some more pointed questions about what happened. I think most people don’t understand it or know what an aneurysm really is. I know I didn’t know that much before I had one.

I’m still VERY tired though. Yawning a lot and my eye lids are extremely heavy. I tried a few times to just sit and
close my eye at my desk. Right now my eyes are bothering me the most at work. Getting used to “new” surroundings again and new lighting, a different monitor from home. It’s all different.

It feels good to be useful and needed again though and to have a little bit of my independence back.

Today is the 4 month anniversary (or annieversary
as they say on the Brain Community message board.) of the rupture. I’m doing pretty good considering what COULD have happened. I have to keep reminding myself of that when I get frustrated. I survived.