My 4-Month Anniversary

On this, the 4-month anniversary (or “annie”-versary) of my ruptured aneurysm and coiling surgery, I am trying to reflect on what I HAVE been able to accomplish during my recovery, instead of what I still can’t do. It goes something like this

Four months from the time of my ruptured aneurysm, I am able to:

    Bend over without getting dizzy.
    Lift things heavier than a breakfast tray.
    Fill and unload the dishwasher without the aid of sitting down.
    Go downstairs to the basement.
    Do laundry.
    Go downstairs to feed the cats.
    Shower and bath unaided by a seat.
    Dry my hair standing up.
    Make meals.
    Sit at the computer for a few hours.
    Lay down without my head pounding.
    Control most head pain I have without Vicodin, but with Tylenol.
    Go into a store, albeit smaller ones still.
    Drive!
    Go to work part-time.
    Sneeze without fear of my coils exploding.
    Go to a movie.
    Fill the bird feeders.
    Walk without the aid of a cane.
    Laugh and not get too exhausted.
    See my psychologist.
    Read a little bit more and it doesn’t bother me.
    Make the bed.
    Make love. (it’s gotta be said for those other survivors who are reading this and are nervous about themselves.)
    Bake a cake.
    Clean the house a little bit more.
    Speak to other annie survivors.
    Plan my future!
    LIVE!

I’m sure there are more things I’m forgetting, but those are the biggies that I’m recalling needing so much assistance with during those first few weeks when I arrived home after 20 days in the hospital. There are still downsides to my recovery, but today I choose to acknowledge the things I CAN do now, that I wasn’t able to before. ‘nuff said.

Big Step!

After weeks of talking about it, today I finally did it and drove myself to work and back. 60 miles round trip.

I got up at my “normal” time (well, a little later) and left the house at my normal time to get to work at my normal time. Things were….well….normal! LOL

It really felt good. I was a little nervous leaving the driveway, but as soon as I hit the road, it felt very routine. My car could probably drive that route by itself anyway. It was 5 below zero out, but the roads were clear & dry.

I made myself stay very alert and got stuck behind the school bus traffic, so the other cars weren’t going any faster than me, so that was good.

Once I reached the interstate it felt as if nothing had changed. I even swore at an idiot who was driving like on. Just like old times.

My reality check was when I exited and almost rear-ended a pick-up truck. It was then I realized I had let my guard down on the interstate…I cannot do that just yet. I can’t rely on my brain to trigger those reflexes instinctively just yet. I have to stay aware – all the time when behind the wheel. Which can tire me out as well.

By the time I got to the parking lot at work, my eyes were aching and my head was a little sore, but really not too bad. Very doable. I was pleased to have made it.

I worked for four hours and left at noon. I didn’t want to push it in case I would have trouble on the drive home.My head and eyes were bothering me just a little bit. Of course I picked the coldest day of the winter to go out, but again, once I hit the road, I felt fine.

The drive home was uneventful and I stayed far more alert. There was also less traffic at that hour than first thing in the morning.

When I got home, I was very, very tired. More like I haven’t slept in two days. That kind of hazy,mrunning-on-fumes sleepiness. I ate some lunch, called my mother to tell her the good news, then promptly fell asleep on the couch while “resting” my eyes.

Overall, I’m really pleased with myself and the fact I wasn’t overwhelmed and in horrible pain when I got home. I hope to try this three days next week and build up from there. Guess I better start getting some exercise.

This was a big step for me and one I needed to do. I may feel like crap tomorrow, but at least I know I can do it…aneurysm be damned!

Going Solo

I needed to deposit my check at the bank. I had missed two other opportunities when Dave and I were out, so on Wednesday, I decided to drive the six miles to the bank and deposit my check myself.

I have driven that route a couple of time previously, but not by myself, or without Dave following behind me in the truck. Of course, I picked the coldest day of the year to venture out, but it went okay.

I made the mistake of clearing the snow off the top of my car first. I should have just let it fly off the roof of my car while driving because it taxed me far more than I was expecting.

Only during the return trip did I find myself having “problems”. Not serious, but enough to scare me a little and make me realize I’m just not ready for my 30 mile drive to work by myself just yet. Or perhaps I just don’t ever sweep snow off my car again! LOL

It did feel good to have some independence again though. Listen to my music and be on my own even for a short time.

The most positive outcome was that I knew I COULD do it.

The Big Drive!

I work 30 miles away from my house. It’s a nice 60 mile drive round trip and especially icky on winter days, but since we have had no winter yet to speak of, I thought I’d try the drive today on my day off from work.

I had a Dr’s appointment up in that area. I had Dave drive me up in my car to the appointment, then I drove home. The “busier” part of the trip was at the start, so the easier part was towards the end. It really worked out well, especially at that time of day. Noonish.

The drive didn’t really bother me. I noticed my concentration kind of wavered a bit once we got closer to home, but that may have only been due to the fact I was very hungry and there wasn’t as much to keep me at attention during that section.  You forget just how much you should concentrate while driving…and how much I just took for granted. It’s taxing.

As my friend Deb in NY said after I told her about the drive:“We forget how much concentration driving actually requires until we don’t do it for a while. Sometimes, some of us should keep in mind just how much we should be concentrating on our driving instead of putting lipstick on, lighting a cig, drinking coffee, eating something…(and I can do ALL of those
things AND drive stick, but really, should I?  I think not…)”

This was a big step today. I’m glad I did it. Not sure I’m just ready yet for the whole drive and it may not happen again for a couple of weeks, but at least I know my limitations a little bit and at least one way….it wasn’t bad. I was tired and my eyes were bothering me, but nothing horrible.  So, that’s a very good thing.