Category: Milestones

Going Solo

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I needed to deposit my check at the bank. I had missed two other opportunities when Dave and I were out, so on Wednesday, I decided to drive the six miles to the bank and deposit my check myself.

I have driven that route a couple of time previously, but not by myself, or without Dave following behind me in the truck. Of course, I picked the coldest day of the year to venture out, but it went okay.

I made the mistake of clearing the snow off the top of my car first. I should have just let it fly off the roof of my car while driving because it taxed me far more than I was expecting.

Only during the return trip did I find myself having “problems”. Not serious, but enough to scare me a little and make me realize I’m just not ready for my 30 mile drive to work by myself just yet. Or perhaps I just don’t ever sweep snow off my car again! LOL

It did feel good to have some independence again though. Listen to my music and be on my own even for a short time.

The most positive outcome was that I knew I COULD do it.

The Big Drive!

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I work 30 miles away from my house. It’s a nice 60 mile drive round trip and especially icky on winter days, but since we have had no winter yet to speak of, I thought I’d try the drive today on my day off from work.

I had a Dr’s appointment up in that area. I had Dave drive me up in my car to the appointment, then I drove home. The “busier” part of the trip was at the start, so the easier part was towards the end. It really worked out well, especially at that time of day. Noonish.

The drive didn’t really bother me. I noticed my concentration kind of wavered a bit once we got closer to home, but that may have only been due to the fact I was very hungry and there wasn’t as much to keep me at attention during that section.  You forget just how much you should concentrate while driving…and how much I just took for granted. It’s taxing.

As my friend Deb in NY said after I told her about the drive:“We forget how much concentration driving actually requires until we don’t do it for a while. Sometimes, some of us should keep in mind just how much we should be concentrating on our driving instead of putting lipstick on, lighting a cig, drinking coffee, eating something…(and I can do ALL of those
things AND drive stick, but really, should I?  I think not…)”

This was a big step today. I’m glad I did it. Not sure I’m just ready yet for the whole drive and it may not happen again for a couple of weeks, but at least I know my limitations a little bit and at least one way….it wasn’t bad. I was tired and my eyes were bothering me, but nothing horrible.  So, that’s a very good thing.

Second Day of Work

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I promise I won’t bore anyone who might be reading this with a daily account of each day I go into work, but the second
day went better than the first.

I felt better and more comfortable there this time and still only worked about 5 hours. I don’t want to push it. I
have a headache tonight, but nothing as bad as it was Tuesday night. Dave dropped me off and picked me up again.

A few people have started to ask me some more pointed questions about what happened. I think most people don’t understand it or know what an aneurysm really is. I know I didn’t know that much before I had one.

I’m still VERY tired though. Yawning a lot and my eye lids are extremely heavy. I tried a few times to just sit and
close my eye at my desk. Right now my eyes are bothering me the most at work. Getting used to “new” surroundings again and new lighting, a different monitor from home. It’s all different.

It feels good to be useful and needed again though and to have a little bit of my independence back.

Today is the 4 month anniversary (or annieversary
as they say on the Brain Community message board.) of the rupture. I’m doing pretty good considering what COULD have happened. I have to keep reminding myself of that when I get frustrated. I survived.

First Day Back at Work

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I went in for my first day of work yesterday. I showered the night before, so all I would have to do was fix my hair and face, eat breakfast and get my clothes pressed. Turns out, that may have been too much! LOL At least I’m not used to doing those things in a hurry anymore, so I was tired before I ever sat down in the car. Dave drove me to work.

Two other people have been using my office since I was last there on Oct. 4th, so I spend most of the day taking back my office, computer and my files. I had a lot of filing to do.

Just as it was when I arrive home from the hospital, it was a bit of a time warp in my office. File folders waiting for jobs to be completed and filed the week of Oct. 5th, were still sitting there on my desk. The catalog pages I had completed and had proofed, were sitting on my desk. My clock had stopped. My calendar on the wall was still on October. Just very strange. I had to become reacquainted with my office and my “stuff”.

I brought along some healthy snacks to munch on and made myself get up from my computer and walk down to the lunchroom to get them, as well as drank a lot of water. I was hoping to work until 4:00, which a lot of people thought highly ambitious my first day back. Turns out, they may have been right. Around noon time, I was pretty sure I shouldn’t push it until 4:00. I listened to my body today. I knew I probably COULD stay there until 4:00, but knew I SHOULDN’T.

So, after I ate and closed my eyes again for 10 minutes, for the 2nd time that day, I let Dave know I would need to come home. God bless him, he left immediately and drove the 30 miles up to pick me up. I was horribly tired and had a pretty nasty headache for about four hours in the evening.

Today, my head feels better, but I’m really, really dragging. I’ll try the work thing again tomorrow and see if it
continues to get better.

It was great to see everyone again. I really missed them and their humor. I laughed a lot, which I needed. I missed
the social interaction and feeling a part of something. It was small taste of getting my independence back again.

I am, by no means, ready for a 40 hours work week. But it’s a small step forward.