Category: Family

Handwriting

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Now, it is no secret to those who know me, that my handwriting never was pristine, but after my annie rupturing and coiling, it is worse. Taking a quick note requires a team of archeological scientists to come in and make sense of it. I have to be very deliberate if I expect anyone else to read it. However, it WAS even worse at one point!

Dave’s sister had given me a note pad in the hospital, along with some other goodies, and while cleaning up some papers around my desk today, I just discovered some notes I had taken while in the hospital. Wow, was my handwriting REALLY bad at that time. I’m amazed I can even read them.

I obviously had intentions of recording the events in a blog or journal of some sorts in the future as I discovered one notation entitled:

”You know you’re in the hospital when…:”

  • Jello is the meal you most look forward to.
  • When you can easily share ANY bodily functions with complete strangers.
  • Having hairy legs, hairy armpits, but a clean face is considered a “wash-up”. (At least I think that’s what I wrote. LOL)
  • Two weeks seem like four LONG days. (I’m still not sure what that one means. Hey, I was heavily drugged.)

There were also other scribblings.  I think I started to write some things down after seeing the Dr’s because they’d always come in so early in the morning, I’d never remember what they said by the end of the day. I was also writing down terms to look up online later to make sure I knew what people were talking about.

And I recall the occupational therapist coming in and asking me to write some things and that was rough to remember how to write that first time. I had to write my address…I think. I can’t quite recall.

Anyway..my handwriting still isn’t good, but at least it’s better than it was when I was in the hospital. LOL

Strength

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My 2nd cousin, Jennifer, has been battling brain cancer since 1999. The fact she’s even here is a miracle and yet she continues to show such strength and character through pain and trauma. I’m in awe.

Her brother, TR set up a web page on the website The Caring Bridge. I have never heard of this website, but it’s a fantastic way to keep a wide range of people from all over the country up-to-date on the progress she is making.

As I was reading the posts and Jennifer’s story, and realizing just how long she has been battling this, it struck close to home. It hit me that only a little over a year ago I may not have been here and here she is being so brave and putting on a strong face when she’s in so much pain………I got very emotional. It just hit me suddenly. I’m small change compared to what she has had to endure. I don’t know why it’s hitting me so strange…..perhaps I’ll find out when I see my therapist next week. Survivor’s guilt?

I also have two other 1st cousins who have battled aneurysms and thankfully, we’ve all WON, but with three 1st cousins with annies and the daughter of another with brain cancer, I’d think all of our cousins would be running to have MRI’s and angiograms….they SHOULD. I know my cousin Toby has had an MRI (I believe) since her sister and I had our annies coiled…and thank God everything looked good, but I worry about my two older (40’s & 50’s) sisters who are heavy coffee drinkers, drink alcohol and have been smokers for many years. All things I’ve read that make them at risk for annies. Hereditary, smoking and age – it makes me scared.

I’m scared for Jennifer and yet I’m hopeful the new and progressive treatments she is about to undertake will help her. God has kept her on this planet for a reason and hopefully he still has other plans for her here.

For those of you with family members battling illness, check out The Caring Bridge website. It’s a terrific vehicle for sharing and sending messages to those who need it.

Looking Back

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In looking back at this time last year, I was still struggling. Struggling with my balance, my head pain and my every day life. A little over a year ago, I was still using a cane and had barely set foot into a store, much less drove my car.

Yes, I have made some major milestones in the last year. I feel very good and am starting to exercise again. We’ll see how well I can stick to it this time. I went back to work full time in April and although the catalog was a huge, huge struggle for me this year, I did it.

I still get very tired, which is a little frustrating and I still feel “brain tired” when I overdo it at the computer, or pretty much anything that involves a lot of brain work. Even everyday things.

Last year I recall being frustrated with how pooped I’d get wrapping presents and how I was unable to assist with the Christmas tree as much as I would have wanted. This year, I hope to make some more milestones by stepping it up from last year and being able to do more.

Dave, as usual, has been wonderfully supportive and caring. I still don’t know what I’ve done to deserve him, but I’m a lucky woman all the way around.

Boogie Night

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Prior to my rupture, I didn’t dance that frequently, but I do love to and given the opportunity last night at a party to boogie on the dance floor, I jumped at the chance. Well….walked up, not jumped.

It felt great to dance, but it winded me horribly and about half way through the first dance, my head was already throbbing. Of course the dance selections were the extended dance versions, so one song equaled about four songs in elapsed time. I had to sit after that first one, but just couldn’t keep myself off the dance floor as song after good dancing song popped up. Dave even got into the mix and we boogied, but he was spinning me and twirling me and I couldn’t do that very long, but it felt great to dance with him. I think it has been two years since I last danced….and it should probably be another two years before I dance again! LOL

Very depressing actually. I love to dance and would have been on the dance floor all night with the others, but my physical stamina and my head wouldn’t allow it. Of course, I pushed the envelope, even though I knew I shouldn’t. And today I’m paying for it. I feel hung over, which is really ironic because I was drinking non-alcoholic wine all night!

My head is in pretty rough shape, my eyes feel tired and physically, I’m exhausted. BUT…I had a great time last night I just don’t think I’ll be doing
it again any time soon.