Looking Back

In looking back at this time last year, I was still struggling. Struggling with my balance, my head pain and my every day life. A little over a year ago, I was still using a cane and had barely set foot into a store, much less drove my car.

Yes, I have made some major milestones in the last year. I feel very good and am starting to exercise again. We’ll see how well I can stick to it this time. I went back to work full time in April and although the catalog was a huge, huge struggle for me this year, I did it.

I still get very tired, which is a little frustrating and I still feel “brain tired” when I overdo it at the computer, or pretty much anything that involves a lot of brain work. Even everyday things.

Last year I recall being frustrated with how pooped I’d get wrapping presents and how I was unable to assist with the Christmas tree as much as I would have wanted. This year, I hope to make some more milestones by stepping it up from last year and being able to do more.

Dave, as usual, has been wonderfully supportive and caring. I still don’t know what I’ve done to deserve him, but I’m a lucky woman all the way around.

Boogie Night

Prior to my rupture, I didn’t dance that frequently, but I do love to and given the opportunity last night at a party to boogie on the dance floor, I jumped at the chance. Well….walked up, not jumped.

It felt great to dance, but it winded me horribly and about half way through the first dance, my head was already throbbing. Of course the dance selections were the extended dance versions, so one song equaled about four songs in elapsed time. I had to sit after that first one, but just couldn’t keep myself off the dance floor as song after good dancing song popped up. Dave even got into the mix and we boogied, but he was spinning me and twirling me and I couldn’t do that very long, but it felt great to dance with him. I think it has been two years since I last danced….and it should probably be another two years before I dance again! LOL

Very depressing actually. I love to dance and would have been on the dance floor all night with the others, but my physical stamina and my head wouldn’t allow it. Of course, I pushed the envelope, even though I knew I shouldn’t. And today I’m paying for it. I feel hung over, which is really ironic because I was drinking non-alcoholic wine all night!

My head is in pretty rough shape, my eyes feel tired and physically, I’m exhausted. BUT…I had a great time last night I just don’t think I’ll be doing
it again any time soon.

1-Year Annie-Versary

My one-year annie-versary was met with a beautifully, sunny and warm fall day. However, unlike last year’s day spent in ICU, this day was filled with self-indulgence and rewards- and why not?

  1. I took the day off work. I wanted to celebrate this day with living…not working.
  2. I treated myself to a one-hour aromatherapy massage, a french manicure and a warm stone facial at The Senator Inn & Spa.
  3. Dave and I enjoyed a nice mid-day cruise on the boat after my spa visit and I called my mom…something I was unable to do for almost 7 days last year. He set out a Care Bear and a very sweet card for me. (Check out this entry on the history of the Care Bear.)
  4. Dave presented me with a small pumpkin and a card which contained a gift certificate for my favorite greenhouse Longfellows Greenhouse at the hotel. He had packed the pumpkin in his suit case! LOL
  5. Dave and I enjoyed a wonderful dinner at The Senator Inn & Spa’s restaurant Cloud 9 and started it off with a champagne toast before dinner. We ended with a carry-out tiramisu to enjoy later in our room.
  6. We enjoyed the pool and hot tub at the inn and worked off our dinner…well, Dave did! LOL
  7. We stayed overnight in a spa suite with a nice gas fireplace and very cushy beds.
  8. The next day Dave and I had a terrific breakfast then enjoyed a visit to the greenhouse to pick up some pumpkins, hay and corn stalks for some seasonal fall decorating. I don’t normally decorate for fall, but this year I am because I’m here to enjoy it, so why not?
  9. A fall drive through the hills to enjoy the foliage was next and another sunny, warm day greeted us.
  10. We enjoyed a long cruise on the boat where at anchor, we both fell asleep. Thankfully, it wasn’t windy, so no fear of the anchor coming loose while dozing! LOL

The night before, the day of and the day after my annie-versary, were filled with lengthy discussions and memories of how it was a year ago and things that happened to not only Dave and myself, but to other family members and coworkers. I found out some things I hadn’t known before about the day I was admitted to the hospital and when I went into surgery and during recovery. Mostly because I was on so much medication I don’t a lot of it.

Although Friday was a day filled with rewards for myself, it was reward enough to be here and to be enjoying such a lovely time with my “Maine Man”…who has been smoke-free for a year as well.

I certainly had some strange emotions flowing through me this past week. I can’t even put some of them into words. I just know in remembering how things were last year I’m very lucky and very blessed.

10 Months and Counting

I failed to realize that this past Sunday was my 10 month anniversary of my rupture. And even though I failed to realize it, the way I spent the day was a celebration of life and enjoying it with family and enjoying the outdoors.

It was a beautiful day full of glorious, bright blue skies, light winds, no humidity and warm, but not hot, temperatures. Dave and I enjoyed coffee & tea out on the boat at the dock, then his niece Kim drove up from Portland and joined us. We spent all day out on the water. At least three separate trips with breaks for more food and drink in between. A very enjoyable, restful, un-stressful day with close family.

In the past 10 months I have recovered nicely. Things certainly could have been a lot worse. I take life and do things far more slowly than I used to. I guess that old adage to “stop and smell the roses” is coming in to play. There are just more important things to be concerned about in life. It doesn’t mean I still don’t want to go on a big shopping spree and buy a new wardrobe and drop that 10 extra pounds I can’t seem to lose, but it isn’t as important to me as it used to be. I’m healthy, I have a job and am living each day – and I’m very lucky to have a loving family and my “Maine
Man”.

Dave has been my rock, my handyman, my chauffeur, my broad shoulders, my sounding board and so much more. I couldn’t have gotten through this without him, literally. If he had not been home that morning last Oct. 4th, I don’t know if I would have driven myself to the ER that morning. I don’t know if I could have. Truthfully, I probably would have waited until later that morning and called to see if I could get in to see my regular Dr….and that may not have happened right away. Granted, Dr. Kwan may have very well saved my life, but Dave has save me in so many other ways. I’m so very lucky.

I’m not sure what my one year anniversary will bring. Probably lots of memories and I’ll be so busy at work during that time, I’ll probably be too tired to do much, but I will mark the occasion in some fashion.

I still get headaches, I still get very, very tired, my eyes will still bother me on occasion, I still get winded…but it has been worse. And I’ll continue to hold on to that. 10 months down….many more to go.