Category: Fatigue

Gravity

Published on by heiditeaLeave a comment

Since my craniotomy brain aneurysm clipping surgery in January, I have slept at an angle with a large, decorative pillow behind my regular pillow. I decided to try sleeping with a regular one instead and realized I guess I can’t sleep that low. I was kind of surprised.

I had trouble getting to sleep the other night. My skull was “acting up”. I have yet to find the correct word to describe how it feels. It’s not hurting per say, but it feels strange and kind of aching and disarming. Almost like someone is squeezing my brain, or at least the tissues around my brain. I’m sure it’s just all of those layers of tissue continuing to heal after being cut apart and pealed way from my skull, but laying down flatter certainly made it more prevalent.

Gravity was not my friend. I tried to get comfortable. I always start to sleep on my right side anyway, but even that wasn’t very comfortable. I rolled over and that didn’t help, even when I tried to position the pillows so they weren’t touching my head in that area. Which is NOT easy, trust me! 🙂

So, I grabbed the large pillow again and positioned that behind my head and that helped…or at least psychologically it helped me. I’m not sure if this is just part of that healing and recovery process or if laying lower really created that discomfort. I had the same discomfort driving home from work today. I know I can’t blame that on gravity as I don’t normally lay down while driving! I think they frown upon that.

Dave has urged me to take advantage of our medical personnel presence at the brain aneurysm support group this Friday to ask her if I should be concerned or if that’s just a normal part of the healing and recovery. I just wish I could describe the feeling better.

The 5-Month Mark

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Five months ago this morning, my brain aneurysm was clipped. After two nights in the hospital, I spent 8 weeks recovering then was back at work. The report so far is good and I think I’m doing well. I know I still have a ways to go and the upcoming months will begin to test my fatigue and stamina as work efforts will increase.

But, until that happens, the progress is good considering everything that could have happened. Fatigue, both mental and physical is still an issue and I cannot determine exactly which type of effort tires me out more. Grocery shopping is a chore. I used to go grocery shopping after work, but have yet to do that since January. Working a full day and driving 60 miles is still difficult and if I were to add groceries to that, I fear my attention to driving would be severely diminished. As a result I wait until the weekends, and usually give myself a day to rest after the work week on Saturday, then shop on Sundays. So far that seems to be working.

20140616-224105.jpgMy incision is basically invisible. I can feel where it is and it’s obvious where the incision was made due to where my hair was shaved, but it’s doing good. I’m still a little self-conscious of the dent at the side of my eye and the visible screws underneath my skin on the left side of my forehead, but I’d rather have that small issue than have to go through another rupture. There….so shut up about it Heidi!

20140616-224326.jpgNow, my hair growth from the shaved area is taking its sweet-ass time growing in, which is frustrating still. At 5 months it has grown a whopping 2″. At least it isn’t sticking up quite as bad as it had and I can finally dry it so it lays flat. Progress, but still weird to deal with. My next cut may be short, with some color. I hate my hair short, but it’ll grow back (maybe!).

Bending over too much and lifting heavy things are exhausting and I think…THINK the feeling in my scalp is finally starting to come back. The only reason I’m starting to think that is that my scalp is hurting now. It’s not an ache-type of pain, but if I scratch, touch, or brush that part of my scalp where the skin was peeled back, it feels tender and almost like little needles, lightly pricking my head. I’m hoping that feeling is all of the nerves reconnecting where they were cut. It was a large area that was cut for the incision and peeled back, so there is a lot of reconnection that needs to occur.

I’ve been told by two doctors that it will probably take a good year before I feel back to “normal”, whatever normal is now. So that means a tiring fall and winter. Goody! But I’m still here.

The Old Two-Day Meeting Test

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Well, nothing like an hour and a half drive and two full days of meetings to test one’s fatigue and stamina!

I had to attend a two day conference where just getting there was a first test. Driving an hour and a half away was the longest I have driven along since my surgery. It’s an easy drive, but one must concentrate on staying focused while driving. I did…I arrived…I was tired. I would have preferred to close my eyes for 15 minutes, but the agenda would wait for no one.

Paying attention, listening, interacting, taken notes, and just plain old thinking took their toll on me both days. We have very few meaningful breaks where I could rest properly and one day we worked through lunch while we ate, so I had not chance to leave and rest. I made the drive home and promptly just wanted to settle into a hot tub and soak my tension away – which I did!

I don’t expect anyone to understand what I’m going through and I certainly hope no one thought I was bored or falling asleep those few times I actually had to close my eyes during the meetings, but I had to take care of ME. I’m only a little over four months about. I may look fine, but I still have my days and times when it’s a struggle.

Well, at least I look better than I did four months ago! 🙂

 

Back At Work Full Time

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It’s only Wednesday, but I’ve worked for 8 hours every day this week so far. Monday and Tuesday in the office and today from home. So far, so good. Haven’t fallen asleep or fallen down the stairs, so that’s a positive sign.

Monday I had a pretty good headache by the time I got home and was very tired. Tuesday was VERY tired all day, but no headache. Today I had a headache all day. Almost called it a half a day, but stuck it out after two Tylenol after lunch and even made a pretty good dinner. EXTREMELY exhausted right now. Forgot to call my mom today…hope she forgives me! I’ll do it tomorrow.

As I start to develop fatigue during the day, I get this zinging pain around the bone plate area. They don’t last long, thank God, but they’re very sudden. Almost like a little electric shock being sent through a pointer. Very sudden, sharp pain, then it’s gone.

My scalp is still numb. Maybe a LITTLE bit more feeling back. Hard to tell just yet. At least taking showers doesn’t wipe me out as much. My jaw is still hurting through. Sometimes it’ll get a longer, aching pain and other times it’s a zinger pain like the head pain is.

I now have one side burn. ONE. LOL The hair around my ear has grown back, but it’s not long enough to go behind my ear with my glasses, so it has a tendency to stick out straight. Thankfully the rest of my hair can cover it for a bit.

The few people who know I’m back at work have been very welcoming. I didn’t see any of them while I was out these two months. Thankfully, I didn’t have a huge pile of jobs waiting for me when I got back and I have a good project to work on that will keep me busy, but isn’t terribly pressing so I can take my time with it. I know the fatigue will be with me for a while, so I’m extremely thankful to work for a company that allows me to work from home so I don’t have to get up as early and worry about the drive. Dave has been driving me this week.

Hopefully tomorrow and Friday won’t be too tough and I can catch up on my rest this weekend. But, it’s another milestone I’m getting through getting back to the real world. I’m one of the lucky ones.