Category: Coiling

3rd Annie-Versary

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I “celebrated” my 3rd annie-versary of my rupture last Monday. It’s been a rough month with putting Kim to rest so close to my own anniversary of my rupture and things being very stressful at work. I think Dave and I just need some time away from everyone and everything.

BUT, I have to continue to remember what I’ve been through and how lucky I truly am. Also how lucky I am to have Dave with me.

Even though it has been three years,mthere are so many things about that time period that remain so fresh in my mind. Some good, some bad and even after three years, there are still things that effect my head. I still get very tired. I still have head pain when I cough hard or sneeze hard. My eyes still have trouble in stores that have a lot of enclosed, small aisles with tons of items in them.

One interesting “side effect” I noticed is that I sleep more soundly. I was always a VERY light sleeper prior to the rupture. Now, once I’m asleep…I’m out! The furnace doesn’t wake me up when it pops on. Only the cats seem to wake me when I don’t want to be awakened…as the did that cool October morning in 2006 shortly before the rupture.

I’ve had trouble dealing with Kim’smdeath over my survival of my rupture. The questions “Why her and not me” is a question that won’t ever be answered. And I supposed I have to be okay with that. It’s a struggle sometimes.

It’s been a tough year for Dave and I, but I look forward to making more plans for our wedding in June. Something we’re looking forward to with great anticipation.

2-Year Annie-Versary Today

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Two years ago, my life changed. Thankfully, it changed in a way that allowed me to still be here.

It’s a lovely Fall day here in Maine, just as it was in 2006. But instead of being awakened with horrific pain, I heard a chipmunk chirping outside my window, my Maine man getting his morning coffee and my kitty cats flitting about the house waiting to be fed. Yes, this morning was far better.

Last night I treated Dave to a wonderful dinner at The Village Inn here in Belgrade. I ordered a split (small bottle) of champagne and we toasted to being alive. I wanted to pay for it to thank him for everything he’s done, and continues to do, for me. He was at the hospital EVERY day I was there. He drove down at 2:00 a.m. one morning after having just left, because I needed him. He got groceries for months after I got home. He drove me back and forth to work until I was able to drive on my own. He cleaned house, did laundry, did dishes and took care of me…and never complained. He’s my angel.

Today we’ll bundle up and take the pontoon boat out for probably our last cruise of the season and enjoy the fresh, cool crisp air and the view. Two years ago it was an ugly room in ICU. I’ll take this one any  day!

Happy Annie-versary to me!

What’s Next

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I’ve been too busy and tired to post again, but better late than never if anyone out there is still reading this.

I had my appointment with Dr. D’Angelo a couple of weeks ago. I had all my questions ready to go and written down and I even tasked Dave with taking notes because my hand writing is so horrible, I didn’t want to miss anything.

We no sooner go into the appointment, when the Dr. got a phone call and cut our appointment very short. He was on-call and there was an emergency, so I certainly don’t expect him to drop everything for me and I completely understand that, but after driving all the way down there, I did feel a tad slighted. Not his fault, but still very disappointing. I wasn’t able to ask any of my questions.

He did shed a little light on where Dr. Kwan is and that they’re searching for a replacement, but that going to Boston to have any serious procedure isn’t a bad thing. He claimed he DID remember me, but I doubt it. LOL He’s seen so many people since then I highly doubt he’d remember little ‘ol me.

I took all of my Angiogram, MRI and CT scans on disk with me, but he said he needed to see more recent images, so I was told he wanted to me to have an MRA. Which is an MRI, but with contrast. His office called a week later and this coming Tuesday I’ll be going down to Maine Med for my MRA.

However, when pre-registration and radiology called tonight, they said it was for an MRI, so I need to call the Dr’s office back tomorrow to make sure everyone is on the same page on what it supposed to be done.

I’m obviously hoping everything looks good, but I’m hoping I get another opportunity to speak to Dr. D’Angelo and ask those questions I’ve been wanting answers to. With no one treating me locally anymore for my neuro issues, I’m feeling a tad lost and abandoned. I had high hopes for this one appointment with him, only to be in his office less than 10 minutes. Again…I know that wasn’t his fault.

As the 2nd anniversary of my annie creeps up, again, I’m recalling this time of year in 2006 still. I wonder how many years this will go on? It’s odd.

I’m feeling relatively good, so I’m having good thoughts about the MRA/MRI. And I’m hoping they’ll let me know the results sooner rather than later so I don’t have to wait it out.

Struggling

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I am hoping that other survivors will read this post and understand what I’m going through…no one else seems to know.

Last Friday I learned that Dr. Kwan, the man whose handy-work is in my brain, whose hands God guided to very likely save my life, who is the only Dr. who does what he does in the state of Maine….no longer practices medicine. I haven’t officially been informed, but a fellow patient of Dr. Kwan’s heard it from his office.

This is very scary and concerning. If something were to happen to my coiling…I’d have to go to Boston probably. Not that I don’t think they’re qualified, but it wouldn’t be the man I trusted and looked to to help me and guide me. He’s one of my “support team” as my therapist says. Also, since I don’t know WHY he isn’t practicing medicine, I’m a little concerned about the work he did on my brain! How could I not be?

Well, he’s the third of my “support team” to leave me in the last 3/4 of a year. My OBGYN and my neurologist left the state. So now, not only do I have to find two new people to trust, but probably one of the most important people, is gone. I’m very scared.

Add to all of that… I learn on Tuesday that my job is being changed at work.

So, is it any wonder I’m stressed? Is it any wonder I’m so freaking scared about my future, not only at work, but for my health? And now I can’t even get a note from my Dr. who did the coiling to say I need to take some breaks at work. Lovely.

I’m hoping someone out there will understand. My therapist is on vacation and others just don’t seem to get it. I’m really, really, struggling with all of this and there are no easy answers.