Week 12, but Who’s Counting?

Today marks week 12 of my recovery after brain aneurysm clipping surgery. It also (as of tomorrow afternoon) marks my first full week AT the office and driving back and forth to work for five days of the week. It has been tiring, not having a day off from the 60-mile, round-trip drive into the office, but it’s a start.

I’ve been grumpy and a tad sad this week for some reason. Have been thinking a lot about my sisters and missing at least having one of them to talk/email with. Then National Sibling Day snuck up on me today. Ugh. Life can be so unfair and I’m still baffled why God chooses some to continue and others to end their time here on earth. Also learned my cousin Deb’s husband passed away after a long, difficult battle with cancer. We all adored Paul. He was a very special person.

So, as spring FINALLY appears to be upon us with warmer temps and grass emerging from the soggy gray snow, I have to be thankful for what I have and not for what I have lost. I have the most adoring, gentle and caring husband, two kitties who make me smile, a loving sister-in-law, a fantastic mother and a niece and nephew who have grown into wonderful young adults as a result of how they were raised by my talented late sisters.

My recovery after surgery has been a tad slower than I was expecting, but I’m extremely thankful that I’m still able to function and do my job. I’m also thankful that I work for a company that allowed me this opportunity to protect myself and keep working. Many people aren’t so fortunate. Thank you Johnny’s!

Now, the fun stuff! My jaw is finally feeling better I think. Yawning isn’t the struggle it used to be. There is still some tightness there, but not the pain. Just might be able to make the dentist appointment now that I’ve canceled twice as a result of my jaw pain inflicted because they had to cut that muscle.

My hair where they shaved it is growing back slowly but surely. It’s odd but workable and I hope to get to my hair stylist in the next couple of weeks for a trim and color of the rest of my hair, which needs it desperately!

The fatigue factor is still hot and heavy, but I’m working on it. I found a terrific set of DVDs that have very attainable, low-impact exercise routines for flexibility, strength, and aerobics. I actually almost look forward to doing them, and that’s very odd for me! LOL

My scalp is still numb but the nerves don’t seem to be as “active” as they were and the zinger pains have eased up to some extent. However, the dent is pretty prevalent and I can now see and feel the pins under the skin on my forehead and under my hair. Other people may not notice, but I certainly do. I’m sure that’s perfectly normal for every clipping survivor and I’ll no doubt get over it.

Speaking of survivors, the Maine Brain Aneurysm Support Group was started two months ago and I have attended both meetings. It’s wonderful to meet other survivors. Unfortunately, we haven’t had much of an opportunity to share stories and converse with each other at great lengths just yet, but that will come. We’ve been trying to get a group here in Maine for many years. It is needed and I hope we can continue to be a comforting and educational resource for people who are newly diagnosed with brain aneurysms and those who are still struggling.

Let’s see…I’ve had a rupture and coiling in 2006, my husband’s niece dies of a rupture in 2008, then I have to have a stent and re-coiling in 2011, then I lose my sister to a rupture in 2012, then my 2nd aneurysm is discovered, it’s growing, and I have open brain surgery to put in a clip in 2014. As much as there are days where I don’t want to think about brain aneurysms, I’m kind of surrounded by it.

“Difficult times always create opportunities for you to experience more love in your life.”
Barbara de Angelis

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