It’s been about 10 weeks since my brain aneurysm clipping surgery. Overall, I’m doing very well and I have to keep reminded myself that it HAS only been 10 weeks. Granted, it wasn’t an emergency event, but I still had my skin flayed open like the skin of a fish, my skull was cut open and bolted back together and, oh yeah, I had a tiny titanium clip put into my brain that for all intents and purposes, saved my life.

It’s worth reminding MYSELF every once in awhile, the significance of the procedure and that the brain takes some time to heal.

I’m a tad depressed at the fatigue. I knew the fatigue would be there, but now that I have started working full time again, the level of fatigue at the end of the work day and when I get home is still dragging me down. I know I need to move more…I have written instructions from my regular Dr. to move more, but I don’t. I’m just so sleepy and run down. I know it WILL get better, but for right now, I’d much rather sit and rest.

I’ve been driving myself to work this week. The mornings are not bad, but I need to make sure I stay alert to other vehicles around me and pay attention…which requires brain work. Which, in turn, tires me out. It’s a viscous circle right now.

I think I’m also starting to feel the death of my other sister creeping back in to my life. I’m finding myself remembering something and where I used to have at least one of my two sisters to contact and confirm something I’m remembering…I now have none of them. It’s just very sad. I have started to write down some “tales” that I’m calling Sister Stories before I forget them because I’ll never have them around again to confirm these stories or to retell them.

However, I digress. My incision has healed nicely, but my hair regrowth is not coming along as quickly as I had hoped. Where they shaved my bangs there is a nice little spike of hair about 1/2 inch high and I have an odd side burn on that side. My scalp is still sensitive and those shooting zinger pains will happen at any time, any where, and in any location. Thankfully they don’t last long, but when I get overly tired I do tend to notice that pain more frequently. I can’t wait for the nerves on my scalp to settle down a bit more so I can get a hair cut & color. Right now the thought of someone else combing my scalp or touching it just doesn’t seem like a good idea.

I have also noticed when I get overly tired I have a sleepy eyelid. I think it’s just swelling a bit, but it gives me an appearance that something is wrong with that eye. Thankfully, it doesn’t last long once i get some rest. I am also able to sleep a bit more on my left side, which is very nice. I don’t seem to be paying for it with swelling and pain the next morning as I used to. My jaw muscle is still painful at times as well.

A few folks at work have asked me about specific things, but for the most part it’s just the standard “how are you doing?” question. Some of the people who work on the same floor haven’t even said a word. I shouldn’t expect any more than that though. They’re just the people I work with. No one came to visit during my recovery except a FORMER co-worker, which was very, very nice and meant a great deal to me.

Yes, my hair may now cover my incision in my head where 53 stitches once lay blood-laden, but I’m still recovering. I have a dent in my forehead, hair that’s barely growing back, a numb scalp, and regular fatigue, but I’m alive to tell my tale to the few people who might care.

This horribly, long winter isn’t helping either. Where we would traditionally have one or two days of really nice and warm weather and some major snow melting, it has been very cold this year and the snow has remained a stagnant reminder of the last few months.

We can only hope for a slow melt this spring so flooding isn’t any issue. I specifically planted several hundred tulips last fall knowing I’d be in recovery this spring. But they are LATE-blooming tulips and at this rate, they may not be able to poke out of the ground until July! Keep hoping!