I’m not feeling too great today, not horrible, but not good. I did an ad for work, wrapped Dave’s Christmas gifts so
I can put them somewhere out in the open and that pooped me out.
I grabbed the basket I had on the kitchen island where I put, and was putting, cards and letters I had received in the mail all the way from the initial days in ICU to after I got home.
Let me start out by saying, I haven’t cried since this all began. I’ve teared up, but nothing drastic. Some cards got
me emotional in the hospital, but I knew I wasn’t supposed to get upset then so that my blood pressure and blood flow to my brain would be steady. Well…after reading the cards for a 2nd time…I DID get upset. In fact I sobbed and sobbed.
I received SOOO many cards and well wishes. Of course from my immediate family and Dave’s family, from other relatives throughout the country, as well as friends back in NY and co-workers, but it was the cards I received from people who I haven’t spoken to in years or seen in years that got me. Such heart-felt words. It just means so much to me and makes me wonder what I did to deserve it.
When I receive word that other people are sick or in the hospital, I don’t always take the time to send a card, much
less two or three cards! How awful of me, especially after seeing the outpouring of concern. The fact that people took the time to go out and get a card is one thing, but to include such nice sentiments and prayers…..
So many emotions going through me. Joy; because I survived. Pain; because some of the card made me recall my stay in the hospital; Gratitude; for so many people. Love; for the outpouring of love I felt from so many, and was I really worthy of that? Inadequate; because even though everyone says my surviving is their thanks, I just don’t feel I can say
or do enough to thank everyone…especially Dave.
I recall reading on the brain community message board that crying isn’t a good thing when you’re recovering from a rupture or surgery on an annie…well, now I know why!! I feel like crap!!! LOL
But, this cry was a long time in coming. I’m glad I finally did it…I just hope I can stop! The waterworks have begun! LOL Dave isn’t home today, so maybe I just felt it was “safe” to let it out I guess.
Thank you to anyone who’s reading this who sent me a card. It meant more to me than you’ll ever know.