Johnny’s Selected Seeds


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Last night, after receiving a nice bath recipe from
my friend Gwen, I was in the mood to soak, sans the recipe.

I like hot baths. Always have. But this time I got
the water a tad too hot and perhaps I’ll never be able to have this hot a tub
again. My heart was racing after I had been in a bit and a short time later, my
right hand went numb. This time, from the ball of my hand upward towards my
fingers. I cannot explain why this happens. And, luckily, I didn’t get a
migraine as I had feared the last two times this happened.

The numbness went away as quickly as it arrived, but
it still unnerved me. I quickly opened both shower stall doors to let in cooler
air. Grabbed a cold wash cloth and put it around my neck, but still didn’t feel
real great…very unstable, so I decided I had better get out…SLOWLY!

I was fine later. It never developed into anything
more thankfully, but I cannot pin point what has caused this all three times. A
rise in my heartbeat would make sense, but the other two times it struck, I had
been asleep, or laying, on the couch with normal heart rate, so that doesn’t
match with the tub.

Maybe it’s just something that’s going to happen
periodically from now on and I’ll just have to live with it. Certainly, I could
have much worse side-effects, so if that’s all that happens to me…no biggy!
It doesn’t hurt, doesn’t make me ill, it’s just very odd and a bit disturbing.

Clean-up in Aisle Four

Dave drove me down to the local gas station again for some groceries. We had two things on our short list: bread
and cookies. So, I thought I could handle that.

Since we don’t do our normal grocery shopping there, but it’s closest to our house, it’s the best place to attempt to desensitize myself to stores again. My first trip last Friday, wasn’t good. I felt pretty awful by the time we got up to the counter and we only got ONE thing! I wasn’t looking forward to going again, but know I HAVE to if I’m ever going to be able to live a normal life again…because I seriously doubt Dave is going to want to do grocery shopping the rest of our lives! LOL

It wasn’t too bad. Mostly because I think we went earlier in the day and I hadn’t done a lot at the house prior to our visit. I got our two items and wandered a little bit until my eyes started to feel icky and my head started to pain. I always have Dave stick close by me in case I get sick to my stomach or want to pass out. I didn’t, so that’s good!

I felt pretty lousy when I got home though and had to lay down for some time and rest my eyes. I had the shakes and of course right after we got home, the home nurse called to see if she could come by in 15 minutes! Sure…why not! Bring it all on! LOL

It wasn’t  bad though. I felt okay the rest of the day, but then not last evening and had to take some more pills to help me sleep….it didn’t help, but I eventually got to sleep.

Today, I’m wicked tired. No explanation other than not sleeping well, but I cannot keep my eyes open. I’ve been reading, from the message board, that tiredness can drag on for a long, long time. So, I should pretty much expect that to just hit me at times. I guess this was one of those times. So…I slept.

Down Weekend

Well, after such a good, and busy day on Friday, I think I paid for it dearly on Saturday. It was not a good day. I woke up with a headache, eye problems, some dizziness and even a little bit sick to my stomach.

I felt that way all day. Took two Tylenol with breakfast and just pretty much laid on the couch. I think four loads of laundry, moocho online shopping and the trip to the grocery store on Friday did me in.

Then after I ate dinner, I had shooting pains in my head in the area of the aneurysm. I ended up taking a Vicadin. The first in several weeks. It didn’t help I don’t think…at least not for four hours. I went to bed at 7:30 and was still having the pains around 10:30. I think shortly after 11:00 they finally stopped…or I was so exhausted I finally fell asleep.

It was the most severe pain I had had in awhile and it unnerved me. I know it’s to be expected. The pains started to hit me every 5 to 10 minutes. The frequency decreased, but not the intensity. I moaned out loud a few times mostly because between pains, I’d feel so much better, then BAM!

Then today, I felt better, but not great. I made myself try some yoga and stretching. It felt good I guess. I know
I need to do some more exercising so I don’t become a lazy bum on the couch.

Because the weather was good, Dave and I FINALLY planted my 150 tulips in the raised bed behind the garage. Dave had had to dig the trench and pretty much plant them all, water them….had to do it all and it kind of hit me how depressing it is to not be able to do much right now. I can’t just pick up and run to the store…I can’t drive yet and stores overwhelm me. I don’t like not being able to DO things…especially this time of year. I love Christmas and I know when we (or rather Dave) gets down all the Xmas decorations, I’m going to want to do more, but can’t. It will be a simple Christmas this year I’m sure and I do love to decorate.

Poor Dave. I don’t have anyone near by that I can ask to do those little tasks. He must be getting so sick of me. Especially when I can do some things around the house, but can’t do others. I know I’m frustrated and a little depressed and some PMS is coming in to play, so that’s not helping. There are just so many things I want to do and know I COULD do them before, but need help now. I don’t like being so dependent, but I have to, or I pay the price.

I did it!

Okay…so it’s not rocket science and didn’t require a tremendous amount of physical exertion, but I made my trip to
the gas station/grocery store. Dave drove and stuck with me in case I started to feel ill and needed to run out. We went in for two things: orange juice and ice cream.

I zeroed in on the ice cream, Dave picked it out, then I walked down to the orange juice. Luckily I kind of had an idea of where they were, so that wasn’t too difficult, but I did start to feel icky. Sick to stomach, eyes funny and headache right smack dab in the middle of my head. I still don’t feel that great, but I did it and was able to go into a store.

We might go back in tomorrow for a short visit again until I can feel better for a longer period of time. Dave may get all of his stocking stuffers this year from the gas station/grocery store! LOL

I know going into a gas station/grocery store isn’t a big deal, but it was to me. Not sure I’m crazy about how I feel at the moment, but I need to continue to get over this issue with stores. I’m depressed it didn’t go better though and disappointed that the short amount of time I was in the store still affected me that way.