Tag: brain aneurysm

Head Over Heels

Published on by heiditea3 Comments

A fellow brain aneurysm survivor posted on Facebook tonight that she had fallen and hit her head pretty hard. After a CT scan, she was given the “all clear”, but I know it must have been scary. She has been through multiple procedures and suffered a stroke.

This week I celebrated my 9th Annie-versary: nine years ago I suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm. The 11mm (almost 1/2 inch in diameter) aneurysm I didn’t know was growing inside my brain suddenly ruptured. The annie-versary day went by with little fan fare. My husband made me dinner, which is always a special treat, but beyond that, because I’m always so busy at work, I didn’t do much to celebrate.

The first couple of years, I would take the day off and have a spa day. I think I need to start doing that again…regardless of how stressful & busy things are at work this time of year…which it always is. They’re lucky to still have me.

Falling and hitting my head is probably my biggest fear. I hate it when I get to work late and have to park up on the very steep hill parking lot. I always fear falling down and make sure I grasp and have a good hold on the PVC pipe railing along the “side walk” up and down the hill. The railing is always covered with snow or ice too, so not sure how much of a help that is.

I probably didn’t share this with many people, but on our last night in Scotland in 2013, our tour guide dropped us off at a hotel near the Edinburgh airport. Dave and I enjoyed a lovely dinner in the hotel restaurant, then I REALLY wanted to take a long soak in a tub and there was a deep, soaking tub in our room at the hotel. As I was getting out, I misjudged the height of the tub to the floor and slipped on the tile floor as I got out, BARELY missing hitting my head on the tub and landing on my backside pretty hard.

Dave immediately ran in from the other room. I was laying on the floor with my head pretty much laying up against the tub. Once we both realized I was okay, we both shook in fear. It was a scary moment and one I hope never to repeat. And that was before I had my craniotomy on my 2nd brain aneurysm.

I suppose the fear is that a hit on the head could produce some sort of shock on the aneurysms and force them to bleed. Or that the surgical work that has already been done…could become “undone”. I’m not even sure how realistic that fear is. I supposed I should ask on my next visit with my neurosurgeon. Because I’m susceptible to aneurysms and bleeding, I would think any hard hit could be a risk. So, I’m very glad Lori got a CT scan after she fell and hit her head. I’d do the same thing.

I didn’t hit my head when my first brain aneurysm ruptured in 2006. No warning, no symptoms, that I recall. But I know that brain hemorrhages can occur when hitting your head. The tragic death of Natasha Richardson is a sad example of that.

So, nine years ago this week, I was in the ICU at Maine Med, then moved to the 608 Neuro-ward. I was in the hospital for two weeks then had six months of recovery before going back to work full-time. Only one person from work visited me and it was simply because she was in the area. I’m so glad Lori has such a wonderful group of friends to support her. I’m sure this fall scared her very much. I know her daughter and husband keep a close eye on her and I’m sure THEY were just as scared as she was. Her service dog Tober will make sure she’s okay. What a great dog he is. Love him.

I’m a NASCAR fan, and the race at Charlotte, NC is this weekend. I remember watching that race in ICU with Dave and my sister Dori (who died of a ruptured brain aneurysm in 2012). They were impressed I knew the drivers and was so responsive. I was one of the lucky ones. Some times I wonder WHY I was one of the lucky ones when so many beautiful, vibrant people who had children to live for aren’t here anymore. It just doesn’t make sense some times. Survivor’s guilt? You bet cha. I’m not a mother and I think I’m a very selfish person, so I’m not sure why God chose ME to live over all of the other beautiful, strong individuals who have lost their lives and devastated their families over ruptured brain aneurysms. It just doesn’t make sense to me some times.

So, yes…I walk slower in snowy & icy conditions. I drive slower in snowy & icy conditions. I don’t ride a bike anymore because of the fear of falling off and hitting my head. I don’t do any strenuous physical sports anymore…not that I ever did before. Falling and hitting my head can happen at any time…even slipping on some of the acorns in the driveway, which is like walking on marbles, gives me pause. I bought this fear up at a support group meeting, but I was on the only one who addressed it. I’m sure other’s have that fear. I’m so glad Lori is okay after her fall. Aneurysms survivors have another added fear. Goody….but I’m still here.

Balloons, Brains, and Bravery

Published on by heiditea4 Comments

The 2015 KAT-Walk & Karo-5K for Brain Aneurysm Awareness was held this past Saturday and the weather Gods, or at least our angels we call Kim & Karolina, were on our side.

Hot Air Balloon
The gentle rising of a hot air balloon greeted us.

We arrived at the Back Cove to see the sun come up, and as we were unloading the trailer, I noticed a hot air balloon slowing rising above the horizon across the bay. I had to stop and take a photo as I didn’t know which direction it was going. Thankfully, it glided right over our location and provided a stunning view of the extremely colorful patterns. It was fitting the bright colors were in our array of colors; the teal blue for Kim, the red for Karo, the orange for Nolan and blue and white for Scotland! 🙂

We were extremely blessed by warm, but not hot temperatures, low humidity, no rain and light winds. Some years the high winds can cause major issues with the tents, printed collateral, and flags.

The event was physically moved down to a location along the trail that allowed us to see more of the people involved. The previous years we were set up in a row along the gravel trail. Last year, we had no idea there were over 600 people there until the 5k started and they all gathered in one place. Once they registered, they became all spread out until that point. This year, our hope was to provide an area where the teams, families, and friends could gather and continue to be a “part” of the day with everyone else. I think we succeeded in that respect and some very positive comments were shared.

I’m usually set up in the Brain Aneurysm Awareness tent and get to meet survivors & their supporters who are new to the event and welcome those who have returned. We also try to provide comfort and support for those who have lost a loved one. I know we celebrate those who survived, but we also try to remember the reason many of us are there is because we lost a loved one to this silent killer. We did have a tender moment of silence to reflect on those lost in the opening ceremonies and many people use the honor board to gather and take picture’s with their loved ones sneaker.

Another good thing about moving the venue location was having the Start/Finish line directly in the vicinity of our tents. Those who finished early, could continue to be apart of the event and still cheer on those who crossed the line because it was right there.

Because Dave is so familiar with so many of the families and participants through his direct personal contact with them, he knows so many of the runners, walkers and their supporters. So, as he started to see some of them come across the finish line, he grabbed the microphone and started announcing them. I think that added a real special, personal touch. I know it was nice to have my name mentioned as I crossed the line all by myself again. Heidi McCausland….team of one!

DSCN1308
The Board of Honor where sneakers with a survivor’s name or one who was lost are placed.

Usually the most heartwarming and heart-wrenching parts of the day are when we meet random people who are coming to the event for the first time and are reluctantly coming to the tent to read more about brain aneurysms and who want to write their loved one’s name on a sneaker to add to our Honor Board. I met one women who was there to walk for her best friend whom was lost 6 years ago. This was her first time there and it was very emotional for her. I hope participating in the event and honoring her friend in such a way helped comfort her.

I also met another woman who had lost her sister two years ago and was just walking by and saw the signs for the event. She didn’t participate in the event, but came to our tent, signed in, made a sneaker out for her sister, and took a brain aneurysm awareness bracelet. No matter how we reach out and connect, it’s all important.

Last year’s event, which raised a record amount of money, helped fund a $25,000 Chair of Research through the Brain Aneurysm Foundation. The recipient of that award made the trip to our event to honor US and to participate. Not only did Dr. Kimberly P. Kicielinski make the trip from Alabama, via Houston, then Boston, but she participated in the 5K, received honors from our committee, made a speech, and then she and her boyfriend Justin helped tear down the event afterwards and joined us for an after-event party.

The work Dr. Kim is doing is very important. She is trying to determine the thickness and fragility of artery and aneurysm walls. Exploring this issue could result in saving many lives. If doctors are aware an aneurysm is at higher risk of rupturing due to a weakness in the wall structure, they could act and operate and save a life before a potential catastrophic rupture occurs. Dave had some wonderful communications with Dr. Kim via email prior to meeting her in person at the event and things she said and obviously has done and is doing, really struck a chord with our entire committee.

For me personally, after my 2nd unruptured brain aneurysm was clipped in January, 2014, the doctor said we dodged a bullet because the aneurysm itself was very oddly shaped and had a weak point at the top of it: something they weren’t able to determine UNTIL they opened up the skull and had physical contact with the aneurysm. Dr. Kim’s work could provide that information before they go into the skull. If I hadn’t made the preventative decision to have that surgery, it could have killed me…and sooner, rather than later.

I left the shade of my tent to participate in the 2-mile walk this year. I walked alone again. Many people pass me, some are way behind me, but I finished and was proud. I walked for myself, my sister Dori, Dave’s niece Kim, for my fellow survivors who couldn’t join us this year, Lori & Julie, and for all those who don’t have the support of co-workers, friends, or even family members.

The trail is a beautiful spot for a walk/run and Dave is always insistent that there be high tide during the event to provide the best possible view. Trust us…you don’t want to be walking there when it’s low tide. LOL Just not pleasant. The flags were waiving, the surf was light and the seagulls were chattering away.

Two special guests were Christine Doherty Kondra and Alison Sedney from The Bee Foundation, a national organization focused on research for brain aneurysms. It was wonderful they made the trip up from Philadelphia to join us and speaking to them reminded me of how important the national dialogue on brain aneurysm awareness is. So many people don’t know what a brain aneurysm is until they, or someone they love, is affected by it. Alison lost her daughter, Christine’s cousin, on Christmas day to a ruptured brain aneurysm and just like all of us who participate in the event on Saturday, she too, has decided to DO something. The efforts of The Bee Foundation not only raise awareness, but provide critical medical research. It was great meeting them.

Every year we try and try to get some local television coverage of our event. Local news can cover a story such as the new Passy Pete, the lobster that can predict six more weeks of summer, but we’re unable to get them to cover our event? I just don’t get it and it’s very, very disappointing and depressing.

However, this year committee member, and co-founder of the KAT-Walk, Art Piteau, did a wonderful radio interview that aired the morning of the walk on the Derek Volk Radio Show on WLOB radio 1310. We will definitely use this resource in the future and Art did a great job on a subject he’s very passionate about because he adored Kim and was a large part of her life. HEAR AUDIO INTERVIEW>

We were also blessed to have a wonderful article written by Harrison Thorp for The Lebanon Voice newspaper. He was at the event with his partner Martha who was a very recent brain aneurysm survivor having had a craniotomy and clipping just a few short months ago. They both participated in the walk and gave a heart-felt report on the day’s events including the story of one survivor, Deb Hanmer, who is source of inspiration for many of us. It was wonderful to get a new participant’s perspective. READ ARTICLE>

Overall the event was successful in my eyes. We had a tremendous group of volunteers this year which made set up and tear down so much easier and even, dare I say, enjoyable! Thank you to everyone whose tireless efforts provide a beautiful, personal, and productive event. BRAVO!

 

The stream

Kick The Can

Published on by heiditea3 Comments

Well, after meeting with my neurosurgeon this morning we have decided to kick the can for another year on the blood remnant in my large brain aneurysm. Yes, it’s there, but it doesn’t pose any immediate risk at the moment – they think.

Options currently presented are:

  1. Do nothing and observe with periodic angiograms/MRA’s.
  2. Insert more coils (I have 20 already) into the aneurysm in hopes no more blood gets in.
  3. Block off the affected artery and see if the blood flow reverses.
  4. Place the relatively new Pipeline™ Embolization Device INSIDE the existing stent that was place in the artery in 2011.

Here is how we’re addressing each option:

Watch & Wait: Simply monitor the remnant with periodic angiograms and/or MRA’s. Then if it appears it IS growing and more blood is getting back into the aneurysm, THEN we act. It could do nothing for 10 years, or it could double in size by next year.

More Coils: I already have 20 coils and a stent that is supposed to be blocking blood getting into the brain aneurysm. Obviously, they’re not doing their job as hoped and expected.

Sacrifice the artery where the aneurysm is & reverse blood flow: This procedure will require doing a balloon occlusion test first to determine if my vascular system can handle the blood flow being shut off. IF the balloon test is successful, then I would be a candidate for having that “diseased” part of my artery completely filled with coils and the blood flow would reverse. I’m still trying to understand how it all works.

The Pipeline inserted inside existing stent: The doctor had done some research and this specific procedure has only been done ONCE, at least in the U.S. that he is aware of. Not exactly a glowing recommendation. Even one of the most renowned neurosurgeon’s in the country has shied away from doing it.

It’s pretty safe to say we have ruled out options 2 and 4. Adding more coils doesn’t seem like a more durable option at this point and even though the Pipeline has been used VERY successfully throughout the entire country, including here in Maine by my doctor, the lack of data and positive feedback on inserting one into an existing stent doesn’t bode well for its use in my specific situation. I’d rather not be a test subject unless all other options have been exhausted.

So, we’re going to do a combo of 1 and 3. Well…at least #1 at this point.

Blood Supply To The Brain

I’ll have an angiogram next Spring AND have the balloon occlusion test done at the same time. There are four main arteries supplying blood to your brain. In most people, there are links between these four arteries that allow for one of the arteries to be blocked without significantly affecting the amount of blood reaching the brain. The balloon occlusion test is usually done if there is an abnormality (in my case, an aneurysm) in one of the four main arteries. It is a way to see whether one artery can be temporarily or permanently blocked without significantly affecting the level of blood in your brain. An X-ray and a special dye are used to create images of your arteries and a small balloon, which when inflated will temporarily block your artery. Sounds scary, but if you’re on the table in the hospital already, they simply deflate the balloon if you’re unable to handle it.

The angiogram will allow us to see if the remnant has grown in a year and we’ll have the balloon test done and that will determine, should I NEED to treat the remnant, that blocking the artery and reversing the blood flow is a good option. If I’m unable to handle the test, then that’s another option off the table.

There is another potential, more invasive option, but I’m not even going to go there yet. We’ll wait a year, see if the remnant has gotten any bigger, and DOES need treatment, before we address it further.

So, I’ll continue to eat better, try to get more exercise, and reduce stress……the last one will be the hardest I think. Kick the can….

 

 

Heidi's Brain Blog

Reminders

Published on by heiditea1 Comment

Our monthly brain aneurysm support group meetings are a wonderful way for survivors, their supporters and for those who have lost loved ones to come together and discuss this horrible thing that connects them. The fantastic medical professionals who have come to speak with us have opened the eyes of those who haven’t been educated themselves and have helped supporters gain a better understanding of what their loved one has gone through. I rarely come away from the meetings feeling anything other than positive energy and proud of the group, but tonight was different.

Dori and I in Maine Three years ago tomorrow, we had to say goodbye to my sister Dori. Her rupture was massive and deadly. She ruptured on Mother’s Day and was kept on life support until the 29th of May. No signs of life and no signs of recovery were recorded. They had shaved her long, thick, mostly gray hair from her head completely. She was on life support, a ventilator, and had a drain set up to alleviate and remove fluid on her brain. It’s an image that still haunts me as the last time I saw her.

Some of our discussions this evening at the support group centered on drains and locations of brain aneurysms. Dori’s aneurysm ruptured on her brain stem, which was catostrophic. As these discussions took place tonight with a survivor who had a drain and a rupture, the image of Dori in that hospital bed was running on a loop in my head. I’m glad we flew back from London immediately to see her at the time, but it technically wasn’t her in that bed. She really was gone the day of the rupture but I see her in that bed this week and my heart hurts because I miss her so very much.

I know for those who have lost a loved one, the support group can be sad, educational and scary all at the same time. Usually I’m naturally focused on the survivor side of it because I am one, but unfortunately, I also have the flip side as part of my life in losing my sister and Dave’s niece to massive ruptures. The successes (me surviving I guess) don’t quite balance out the failures (losing Dori and Kim) but life still goes on around us and I’m still alive to try and help others if I can. If we’re able to get one person scanned or help one survivor understand their situation better and offer comfort, then those lives lost will always be with us as a reminder at how precious life is and how we all can DO something.