Groceries

I never, EVER thought I would be excited about grocery shopping. Today was the exception.

I couldn’t hide from the big stores any longer, so I decided I’d go with Dave to get groceries today at Shaw’s Supermarket. It’s the first time setting foot into the big grocery store since before the ruptured annie. I was nervous, but once I got into the store, I remember where everything was just fine. I’d been going there for years, so I wasn’t doubting I’d remember where things were…unless they moved them on me which, thankfully, they did not.

Being armed with a good, detailed, very organized list didn’t hurt either. I was prepared. If I had had to wander around aimlessly looking for “something” for lunch and no knowing exactly what I was looking for and going up and down aisles….could have been bad.

I did very well and that pleased me. Only once did I start to feel confused and thought I was going to have to ask Dave to help me, but it passed. I got everything on my list and checked out. I was quite tickled I did so well. During the ride home (Dave drove), I got amheadache and needed to close my eyes. I felt like I had just crammed for a big test…my brain was tired for lack of a better description. The shopping trip was a lot of work for my brain and I was feeling it. Not horrible pain, but it was there.

Overall…this was a BIG step. I’m still not sure I could stop at the store for the BIG grocery trip on my way home from work and then drive home, but I could certainly go with Dave on the weekend and help. Dave did say I shouldn’t go by myself for awhile, so we’ll work into it slowly….just as I’ve done everything else. It did feel good to grocery shop….and that’s probably the last time I’ll EVER say that!

Night

Since I was tired after working and didn’t feel like cooking Friday night and Dave had thrown his back out working on the counter top, I decided we’d order a pizza. I waited until around 5:00 to order and it would be 30 minutes. I didn’t realize until I walked out the door to go pick it up, that it was almost dark out. I hadn’t driven at dark since Oct. 4th of ’06!

I noticed three things on my drive homemafter picking up the pizza:

1) Someone on route 135 still havemtheir Christmas three up! LOL I drive that road everyday to work and back, but it’s always daylight. At night, I noticed the free and their Xmas lights on it in their living room through the window.

2) Our neighbors have lights! We haven’t had neighbors in that house since I moved here and coming around the bend, I couldn’t figure out what the lights through the trees were. The neighbors! First time I have seen them.

>3) I still don’t like driving at night.mLOL That hasn’t changed at all!

BUT, the big thing was that it wasn’t really any different than before, so that’s good. I still don’t like it when cars come at me with their lights and I still go slower than I would during the daylight. I just concentrated a bit more last night.

Bills, Bills, and More Bills

I have been receiving medical bills since before I ever got home from the hospital. I’ve been instructed by many different parties to “hold off” on paying any of them due to an
insurance company switch at work and people not billing the correct insurance agencies among other things.

I don’t understand a lot of it and it’s very frustrating. I’m not used to setting bills aside (especially big bills) and not paying them. There’s such a sense of responsibility in me that it’s makes me very uncomfortable and uneasy. A few have informed me they were sending the bills to collection agencies and some how we’ve been able to hold that off, but it’s all so involved and confusing that I feel very inadequate because I don’t understand it and that it’s completely out of my control. I don’t enjoy having my financial status in limbo with all these agencies and medical operations. I’m used to paying my bills on time and getting things taken care of in the alloted amount of time. Just frustrating.

Work in Progress

Just when I think I’m doing okay and getting into the swing of things with work and can possible increase my hours, I have a day like today where I had two meetings, did a lot of work on my computer and it almost did me in to the point I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to drive home.

One of the meetings dealt with part of the process that involves the catalog and it just got me thinking about “that time of the year” and if I’m going to be able to handle the
stress and strain of it this year. I have one day where I think it won’t be a problem, then I have a day like today where my stamina and concentration just is not what it should be and that really concerns me. What if I’m not able to do it? It’s still a few months off, but it WILL come, there’s no avoiding it. The stress and strain will always be there and now with some added duties at work, I’m very concerned. Just doing my normal job of doing ads and other projects is keeping my mind and stamina busy right now.

I think I’m going to have to get some kind of regimen in place to help me deal with it all. A health, work and stress plan. Other wise I’m not going to be much good. OR…perhaps I’ll see if I can complete the catalog WITHOUT devoting myself so completely to the job. It’s a concern, but I have some time to plan for it.