Category: Work

8 Years And Counting

Published on by heiditea2 Comments

20141004-230625.jpgI say it every year around this time but Happy Annie-versary to me! 8 years ago today I suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm at home. I believe I was guided by God’s hand to go into the ER when I did. I KNEW it was something I had never experienced before and wanted to get it checked out because it scared me. I was only vaguely aware of the term aneurysm because a cousin had one coiled a few years earlier. I had no idea just how serious it was for her and just how my life, and my family’s life, would be changed.

No, I wasn’t sent to Boston for my surgery. My particular aneurysm was a good candidate for the relatively new procedure called coiling. What I know NOW, but didn’t know then, is that the rather large, 1/2″ diameter brain aneurysm is actually sitting on my optic nerve and the head of neurology was nervous about doing the more invasive procedure of a craniotomy and clipping (which I just went through with my un-ruptured aneurysm). Thankfully the staff right here in Maine at Maine Medical Center were more than capable of handling that procedure and are now in 2014 even MORE prepared to handle all of the new treatments available.

16 coils and four additional coils, a stent, a craniotomy, and now a metal clip, and here I still am. It was a frustrating recovery in 2006 and I am now meeting, and hopefully assisting, recent survivors at our brain aneurysm support group. We’re all lucky. We survived.

I’ve given up asking “why did I survive” and why didn’t Dave’s niece Kim or my sister Dori survive their ruptures. There is no answer. God had other plans I guess.

I mentioned to my mother earlier in the week that I had finished the first round of layouts for the ENTIRE catalog for next year’s book. Ironically, 8 years ago, I remembered celebrating that milestone and one or two days later, the brain aneurysm ruptured. I’m still working just as hard, still stressing just as much, but a little bit more tired this year because my UN-ruptured brain aneurysm was clipped in January. One of the side effects from THAT surgery is when I’m overly tired, my left eye lid gets droopy and even though it doesn’t look it, I feel like my brain and skull are swollen when I’ve worked too hard. Yes, I still push myself. It’s my job, it’s my responsibility. I do have limits though….you’d think I would have learned that 8 years ago. LOL

I still don’t eat as well as I should and I don’t get enough exercise. Perhaps that part of my brain that activates motivation has changed. Who knows, but I’m here. No special celebration today, just making home made chili in the crockpot, working on the catalog (yes, on the weekend!) and hanging out with my Maine Man and my kitty cats. That’s more than I was doing eight years ago in ICU.

If I’m able to help any other survivors and help spread the word about the symptoms and treatments of these silent killers, then I’m hopefully turning something bad into a more positive thing. There are days I don’t want to talk about brain aneurysms. There are days I don’t want to think about them, but I can’t get away from them. That’s the sad truth. So, I’m trying to make the best of it and try to help others LIVE in whatever way they’re able to. They are a part of my everyday living.

For those of you still struggling, you’re not alone and things will get better with time. Just treat yourself right, enjoy life, and celebrate the people around you. You just never know.

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Photo taken on my first walk outside after craniotomy in January this year.

Mixed Blessings

Published on by heiditea1 Comment

So far this year registration for the KAT-Walk and Karo 5-K run is up considerably from last year. Sadly, part of that uptick is due to a beautiful young man being taken from us by a ruptured brain aneurysm. The outpouring of support for his family from the community and his friends is tragic and wonderful all at the same time. We should all be so lucky to have that kind of comfort at such a terrible time.

We get excited when we see new faces joining us, but it may be because they recently suffered or survived so it then seems wrong to show excitement in any fashion. Reaching out to other survivors and people who have lost a loved one is very important to let them know they’re not alone and to offer support through a day that can be filled with a wide range of emotions. Thankfully the walk/run has also attracted repeat visitors and they make it an annual event to honor themselves, their loved one, or a friend who has been touched by brain aneurysms. We’re so lucky to have their show of support as well.

Monetary donations are vital in helping raise brain aneurysm awareness. I am personally thankful for the 15 people who have donated money on my fundraising page for this year’s event.

However, each year when the walk comes around, I’m always disappointed in the lack of support shown for me AT the event. In fact during my 6 months recovery in the hospital and at home after my ruptured brain aneurysm in 2006, only one co-worker visited me. And during my recovery from my clipping this past January, no one visited. One close friend visited, but only after he got over his cold! 🙂 I couldn’t afford to get sick at that point and sneezing wouldn’t have been fun. So, is it any wonder I get a little down at this time each year?

There is only so much I can do. I’m not allowed to send out one mass email to all of my co-workers anymore and I put posters up in all three locations and lay brochures out. Oh, well. I just need to get over it already. Or perhaps I’m just not that likable and I have annoyed them with my brain aneurysms enough. LOL

That being said, I HAVE made friends that do attend the walk. They’ve been made mostly through the event and they always come anyway, not to support me in general. There are two other survivors who I have been in contact with for many years and I know I can always count on them in some fashion. One is from NH and the other is from FL and will again make the journey to Maine for our event. I can’t even get people IN the state to drive down to Portland for me. Entire groups of people drive or fly hundreds of miles to support their other family members and friends and that’s truly, truly wonderful for them.

My family has gotten smaller over the last couple of years, although my two sisters, Dori and Rhonda from NY never attended the event either, I now walk to honor both their memories as well as for myself because I’m a two-time survivor. Yeah, me! 🙂

Sorry…needed to vent. So lets count this as my whiny, selfish blog entry, okay? It’s my blog… I can vent if I want to, right?

Back At Work Full Time

Published on by heiditeaLeave a comment

It’s only Wednesday, but I’ve worked for 8 hours every day this week so far. Monday and Tuesday in the office and today from home. So far, so good. Haven’t fallen asleep or fallen down the stairs, so that’s a positive sign.

Monday I had a pretty good headache by the time I got home and was very tired. Tuesday was VERY tired all day, but no headache. Today I had a headache all day. Almost called it a half a day, but stuck it out after two Tylenol after lunch and even made a pretty good dinner. EXTREMELY exhausted right now. Forgot to call my mom today…hope she forgives me! I’ll do it tomorrow.

As I start to develop fatigue during the day, I get this zinging pain around the bone plate area. They don’t last long, thank God, but they’re very sudden. Almost like a little electric shock being sent through a pointer. Very sudden, sharp pain, then it’s gone.

My scalp is still numb. Maybe a LITTLE bit more feeling back. Hard to tell just yet. At least taking showers doesn’t wipe me out as much. My jaw is still hurting through. Sometimes it’ll get a longer, aching pain and other times it’s a zinger pain like the head pain is.

I now have one side burn. ONE. LOL The hair around my ear has grown back, but it’s not long enough to go behind my ear with my glasses, so it has a tendency to stick out straight. Thankfully the rest of my hair can cover it for a bit.

The few people who know I’m back at work have been very welcoming. I didn’t see any of them while I was out these two months. Thankfully, I didn’t have a huge pile of jobs waiting for me when I got back and I have a good project to work on that will keep me busy, but isn’t terribly pressing so I can take my time with it. I know the fatigue will be with me for a while, so I’m extremely thankful to work for a company that allows me to work from home so I don’t have to get up as early and worry about the drive. Dave has been driving me this week.

Hopefully tomorrow and Friday won’t be too tough and I can catch up on my rest this weekend. But, it’s another milestone I’m getting through getting back to the real world. I’m one of the lucky ones.

I Hear You Knocking…

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Well, that was new, but not unexpected. I was doing my walking in the house this morning and started hearing a ticking. After ruling out everything else, even removing my glasses thinking it was coming from there, I realized it was my head….or bone flap…or….

It was definitely coming from there and wasn’t a real consistent sound, but I noticed it. I had been warned I might have strange popping or ticking sounds coming from the bone area, but this is the first time I have heard it. Very odd. Perhaps the swelling has gone down enough for some things to be shifting when I move. Not sure.

My head has been aching and itching a little the last couple of days. I could not keep my eyes open yesterday and basically didn’t do anything.

I’m starting to make plans to go back to work on a part-time basis at first, see how that goes, and hope to be back at work full-time by March 17th. We’ll see how that goes. I haven’t driven yet, so I need to get that done. At least it is staying lighter later and won’t be dark when I leave work at 4:30.

Until then, Dave, Lexie, and Smokey are taking care of me and keeping me entertained.


Smokey helping me.