Category: Strength

A Sunday Drive

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I did it! I drove today. First time since Oct. 4th. I had to sweep the snow off of it first, which left me winded, but after letting it run for awhile and the sun helping melt a lot of it off, we set out with Dave as my co-pilot in case it bothered me too much.

It did not. In fact, it wasn’t bad at all. Granted, we only went six miles and back and there was no traffic on mymside of the road to distract me. I think my drive to work will be very taxingnthe first time I do that by myself.

Dave said he’d drive me up to work the first time I go back to the office, which I hope is soon. I know it’ll tire  me out, but the only way I’ll get back into the swing of things…is to get back into the swing of things!

But, today was a big, big step. I didn’t get sick or feel horrible when I got back, so that’s a good sign. Once I get the car inspected tomorrow, I won’t feel to concerned about driving myself down to the local Irving station, or to the bank. Could happen.

Thank You Good People

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I’m not feeling too great today, not horrible, but not good. I did an ad for work, wrapped Dave’s Christmas gifts so
I can put them somewhere out in the open and that pooped me out.

I grabbed the basket I had on the kitchen island where I put, and was putting, cards and letters I had received in the mail all the way from the initial days in ICU to after I got home.

Let me start out by saying, I haven’t cried since this all began. I’ve teared up, but nothing drastic. Some cards got
me emotional in the hospital, but I knew I wasn’t supposed to get upset then so that my blood pressure and blood flow to my brain would be steady. Well…after reading the cards for a 2nd time…I DID get upset. In fact I sobbed and sobbed.

I received SOOO many cards and well wishes. Of course from my immediate family and Dave’s family, from other relatives throughout the country, as well as friends back in NY and co-workers, but it was the cards I received from people who I haven’t spoken to in years or seen in years that got me. Such heart-felt words. It just means so much to me and makes me wonder what I did to deserve it.

When I receive word that other people are sick or in the hospital, I don’t always take the time to send a card, much
less two or three cards! How awful of me, especially after seeing the outpouring of concern. The fact that people took the time to go out and get a card is one thing, but to include such nice sentiments and prayers…..

So many emotions going through me. Joy; because I survived. Pain; because some of the card made me recall my stay in the hospital; Gratitude; for so many people. Love; for the outpouring of love I felt from so many, and was I really worthy of that? Inadequate; because even though everyone says my surviving is their thanks, I just don’t feel I can say
or do enough to thank everyone…especially Dave.

I recall reading on the brain community message board that crying isn’t a good thing when you’re recovering from a rupture or surgery on an annie…well, now I know why!! I feel like crap!!! LOL

But, this cry was a long time in coming. I’m glad I finally did it…I just hope I can stop! The waterworks have begun! LOL Dave isn’t home today, so maybe I just felt it was “safe” to let it out I guess.

Thank you to anyone who’s reading this who sent me a card. It meant more to me than you’ll ever know.

Two Months Ago

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Two months ago, my brain aneurysm ruptured and all hell began. This morning, I awoke to bright sunshine, my kitties in bed with me and my Maine man ready to cart me all over again. LOL

I had two appointments in Waterville and Winslow, then a planned trip back to the dreaded Rite-Aid. The drive in wasn’t bad and my appointments didn’t poop me out too bad.

We stopped for lunch, then hit Rite-Aid. I was very apprehensive, but it wasn’t bad. Well, not NEARLY as bad as it was the first time I went in. Things were still a little dizzying, but not too bad. I was pleased. Had a slight head-ache when I left, but it didn’t leave me feeling horrible the rest of the afternoon like it did last time. Progress or a fluke? Time will tell.

On this day I was reminded of the days that have gone by and how much Dave has done for me and how he has been by my side every step of the way. I feel so inadequate in my thanks to him. I just don’t seem to think of anything or any words that can adequately express how much I love and appreciate everything he’s done. I’d do the same for him, so I guess we’re in this together.

Clean-up in Aisle Four

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Dave drove me down to the local gas station again for some groceries. We had two things on our short list: bread
and cookies. So, I thought I could handle that.

Since we don’t do our normal grocery shopping there, but it’s closest to our house, it’s the best place to attempt to desensitize myself to stores again. My first trip last Friday, wasn’t good. I felt pretty awful by the time we got up to the counter and we only got ONE thing! I wasn’t looking forward to going again, but know I HAVE to if I’m ever going to be able to live a normal life again…because I seriously doubt Dave is going to want to do grocery shopping the rest of our lives! LOL

It wasn’t too bad. Mostly because I think we went earlier in the day and I hadn’t done a lot at the house prior to our visit. I got our two items and wandered a little bit until my eyes started to feel icky and my head started to pain. I always have Dave stick close by me in case I get sick to my stomach or want to pass out. I didn’t, so that’s good!

I felt pretty lousy when I got home though and had to lay down for some time and rest my eyes. I had the shakes and of course right after we got home, the home nurse called to see if she could come by in 15 minutes! Sure…why not! Bring it all on! LOL

It wasn’t  bad though. I felt okay the rest of the day, but then not last evening and had to take some more pills to help me sleep….it didn’t help, but I eventually got to sleep.

Today, I’m wicked tired. No explanation other than not sleeping well, but I cannot keep my eyes open. I’ve been reading, from the message board, that tiredness can drag on for a long, long time. So, I should pretty much expect that to just hit me at times. I guess this was one of those times. So…I slept.