Category: Rewards

A Test

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Dave and I drove to NY to visit my family for the first time since my rupture last October. My sister Dori had flown in for my surgery, but no one else has seen me since I was in ICU. Thankfully, I looked much better than I did then!

Dave did all the driving and it’s probably a good thing. The drive was very tiring for me. I was still awake at the end of the 11 hour drive, but I can’t say I was too alert! LOL We did a lot of visiting, but kept our schedule relatively open to leave us free time so I could rest…which I didn’t do much of. Only a couple of days during the trip did I really “feel” it. As I walked, I kept waiting for my hind quarters to catch up with me….meaning my arse was really dragging, but it was all worth it.

One amazing thing. We stayed at a new hotel and casino. I really wasn’t sure I’d even be able to go into the casino with it’s flashing lights, bells & whistles. So, I was expecting to not even go in, but lo and behold, it didn’t bother me. The first trip through was a little rough, mostly because they allowed smoking, but was extremely well ventilated. That kind of threw me. We did not gamble, so I’m not sure if actually playing a slot machine would have bothered me. I wasn’t going to push it.

I know I waited too long to make this trip, 7 months, but I really wanted to make sure I was okay and that I could do the trip. I would have hated to get there and be useless and not be able to spend the quality time that I did with my friends and family.

Now getting back into the swing of work again, I’m really feeling the strain of looking at my computer all day as I hadn’t looked at a computer screen for seven days. I don’t think I went that long without seeing a computer when I was in the hospital. I worry about my job longevity on days the strain of looking at the screen all day bothers me. I guess until I CAN’T do this job anymore, I won’t worry about it…easier said than done though!

For those of you who have suffered a ruptured aneurysm, or have a family member who has, be patient with them and enjoy any time you have with them….it may just be your last. Savor those moments.

Breakfast

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On the weekends, especially a bright sunny one, I like to eat my breakfast in the bedroom in front of our french doors facing the water. I carry a tray in, set it on the ottoman and watch the morning DIY shows or other shows I have taped during the week.

Well, for some reason, yesterday morning, I thought about how I first got home from the hospital. I was so out of balance and couldn’t carry anything, or bend over at all. Sweet Dave used to get my cereal, hard-boiled egg, juice, milk and sometimes tea for me and carry it in to the bedroom for me on a tray. How far I’ve come since then. Thankfully so.

Again, I am reminded of how lucky I am. I most certainly could have been far more severely impaired. Not being able to work, or worse, not being able to see or fend for myself.

The fact that I was able to work outside in my garden yesterday, clearing debris and checking on my “babies”, is wonderful. Lucky and very fortunate to be here.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

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The Good
I finally got my car inspected on Monday afternoon. It was due in September, but with catalog work in full gear, I was taking the 30 grace period to the limit. Then with the hospital
stay…well, you get the picture. It was WAY over due and I really wanted to be legal before I got behind the wheel again. (oops…I drove the car on Sunday..shhhhhh…don’t tell anyone!)

So, Dave drove me to the dealership for the inspection and to have a tired checked out. All went well thankfully and we
were on our way. Dave’s truck had been in the shop for well over a week or two and it was ready to be picked up, so I agreed we’d stop to get it and I’d drive home by myself since it went so well on Sunday. This trip would mean a little
bit more traffic on some more tricky road patterns.

I did okay. By the time I got home, my eyes were bothering me and so was my head. It felt good to drive again though
and have my Christmas carols cranked up in the car. My favorite time of year!

But, instead of resting my eyes and my head when I got home, I jumped on the computer for a couple of hours and worked on some ads for work which lead to….

The Bad
My head continued to get worse and I continued to get more tired and weary. Right around dinner time I HAD to rest and lay down, then I went to bed quite early because I just did not feel good. I was paying for the activities today and it was my own fault for not resting when I got home. I have GOT to listen to my body more.

Tuesday morning I felt much better, but my eyes still felt like lead. Very weary, not painful, just horribly heavy. I did do some work on the computer, but not quite as much or at least I gave myself some more breaks. I did end up cooking a nice dinner.

The Ugly
I awoke Wednesday morning not feeling very hot. I didn’t get much sleep and then at around 8:30 I got a migraine. This time is really WAS one and it felt like it. Darn….I was hoping they would have decreased after the annie, but I guess not. I immediately whipped up some breakfast to get something in my stomach, then popped my Excedrin Migraine pills, which did help, but I still had some pretty severe head pain throughout the morning and afternoon. It came in waves.

I have no idea what triggered this one. I’m not under any stress at the moment. I haven’t been eating a lot of chocolate. I haven’t been drinking alcohol except an odd glass of wine. It’s not that “time of the month”.  I have almost completely cut out full caffeine tea opting for decaf and I haven’t been eating any peanuts…so all those so-called triggers can’t be blamed for this one. The only thing I can think of is the cheddar cheese omelets and processed meats I’ve been eating.

And now, because of the caffeine in the Excedrin migraine, it is now 12:18 on Thursday morning and I can’t sleep. Glad they help with the pain, but sometime’s that caffeine is a real pain.

Thank You Good People

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I’m not feeling too great today, not horrible, but not good. I did an ad for work, wrapped Dave’s Christmas gifts so
I can put them somewhere out in the open and that pooped me out.

I grabbed the basket I had on the kitchen island where I put, and was putting, cards and letters I had received in the mail all the way from the initial days in ICU to after I got home.

Let me start out by saying, I haven’t cried since this all began. I’ve teared up, but nothing drastic. Some cards got
me emotional in the hospital, but I knew I wasn’t supposed to get upset then so that my blood pressure and blood flow to my brain would be steady. Well…after reading the cards for a 2nd time…I DID get upset. In fact I sobbed and sobbed.

I received SOOO many cards and well wishes. Of course from my immediate family and Dave’s family, from other relatives throughout the country, as well as friends back in NY and co-workers, but it was the cards I received from people who I haven’t spoken to in years or seen in years that got me. Such heart-felt words. It just means so much to me and makes me wonder what I did to deserve it.

When I receive word that other people are sick or in the hospital, I don’t always take the time to send a card, much
less two or three cards! How awful of me, especially after seeing the outpouring of concern. The fact that people took the time to go out and get a card is one thing, but to include such nice sentiments and prayers…..

So many emotions going through me. Joy; because I survived. Pain; because some of the card made me recall my stay in the hospital; Gratitude; for so many people. Love; for the outpouring of love I felt from so many, and was I really worthy of that? Inadequate; because even though everyone says my surviving is their thanks, I just don’t feel I can say
or do enough to thank everyone…especially Dave.

I recall reading on the brain community message board that crying isn’t a good thing when you’re recovering from a rupture or surgery on an annie…well, now I know why!! I feel like crap!!! LOL

But, this cry was a long time in coming. I’m glad I finally did it…I just hope I can stop! The waterworks have begun! LOL Dave isn’t home today, so maybe I just felt it was “safe” to let it out I guess.

Thank you to anyone who’s reading this who sent me a card. It meant more to me than you’ll ever know.