Groceries

I never, EVER thought I would be excited about grocery shopping. Today was the exception.

I couldn’t hide from the big stores any longer, so I decided I’d go with Dave to get groceries today at Shaw’s Supermarket. It’s the first time setting foot into the big grocery store since before the ruptured annie. I was nervous, but once I got into the store, I remember where everything was just fine. I’d been going there for years, so I wasn’t doubting I’d remember where things were…unless they moved them on me which, thankfully, they did not.

Being armed with a good, detailed, very organized list didn’t hurt either. I was prepared. If I had had to wander around aimlessly looking for “something” for lunch and no knowing exactly what I was looking for and going up and down aisles….could have been bad.

I did very well and that pleased me. Only once did I start to feel confused and thought I was going to have to ask Dave to help me, but it passed. I got everything on my list and checked out. I was quite tickled I did so well. During the ride home (Dave drove), I got amheadache and needed to close my eyes. I felt like I had just crammed for a big test…my brain was tired for lack of a better description. The shopping trip was a lot of work for my brain and I was feeling it. Not horrible pain, but it was there.

Overall…this was a BIG step. I’m still not sure I could stop at the store for the BIG grocery trip on my way home from work and then drive home, but I could certainly go with Dave on the weekend and help. Dave did say I shouldn’t go by myself for awhile, so we’ll work into it slowly….just as I’ve done everything else. It did feel good to grocery shop….and that’s probably the last time I’ll EVER say that!

Night

Since I was tired after working and didn’t feel like cooking Friday night and Dave had thrown his back out working on the counter top, I decided we’d order a pizza. I waited until around 5:00 to order and it would be 30 minutes. I didn’t realize until I walked out the door to go pick it up, that it was almost dark out. I hadn’t driven at dark since Oct. 4th of ’06!

I noticed three things on my drive homemafter picking up the pizza:

1) Someone on route 135 still havemtheir Christmas three up! LOL I drive that road everyday to work and back, but it’s always daylight. At night, I noticed the free and their Xmas lights on it in their living room through the window.

2) Our neighbors have lights! We haven’t had neighbors in that house since I moved here and coming around the bend, I couldn’t figure out what the lights through the trees were. The neighbors! First time I have seen them.

>3) I still don’t like driving at night.mLOL That hasn’t changed at all!

BUT, the big thing was that it wasn’t really any different than before, so that’s good. I still don’t like it when cars come at me with their lights and I still go slower than I would during the daylight. I just concentrated a bit more last night.

Working

Today marked the start of my third week of working three days a week. I put in four hour days the first week of Feb., then worked until 2:00 last week and tried it to 3:00 today. That might have been pushing it. If I didn’t have to drive home 30 miles afterwards, I could probably put in a full day….or maybe not.

With my disability running out in March, I’m starting to feel I’m on a strict time table to work a full 40 hour week, but I might not happen for awhile yet and I’ll just have to take the cut in pay and lose all my personal/vacation time if need be. I’m not sure if the disability can be extended if the Dr’s say I need more time or not. Looking into it.

It has felt good to have to get up in the morning and be somewhere, other than a Dr’s appointment. I’m feeling useful again and that’s really important. I just wish I weren’t so darn tired when I get home. It takes a lot out of me. I am sleeping better the nights I work, so I guess that’s good, but it also makes it hard to get up in the morning.

My annie-related headaches are decreasing in intensity finally. I find my eyes are bothering me more than my head right now. They get very tired and sore after working and driving and stores are still an issue. So I’m still recovering and have to remember that. I’m a long way from 100% still, but it’s getting there.

I’m trying not to complain to people at work when they ask me how I’m doing because in reality, compared to where I was in October, I’m doing great. I shouldn’t be complaining. Poor Dave has to endure my complaining. He’s been a saint through it all. I’m not sure I deserve him.

Lunch

Today, was another small milestone for me. I ate out in a restaurant. A simple task for anyone else, but one I was very nervous about simply due to the fact that stores and busy p places bother me so much yet.

I had hoped to sit in a booth, but there were too many of us from work to sit comfortably, so we were able to get a nice round corner table to sit at. The window blinds, checkerboard floors and checkerboard table cloths had me worried the second I sat down, but other than very slow service, it went well.

I was pleased to know I can do that, but also amazed at how it completely exhausted me. We went back to work after lunch, and even though I only worked until 2:30, by the time I drove home, settled and got the mail, I fell asleep twice on the couch and was in bed by 9:00. Just not able to keep my eyes open another minute.

Going out to lunch with my co-workers again also felt great. I have really missed that human interaction and laughing and it give me hope that Dave and I can go out to eat somewhere nice again and it won’t bother me too much.