Fear of Falling

Okay, so I haven’t been dizzy, I’m not unstable, and I’m not overly clumsy. There…that’s out of the way! No, I do not use a cane. I used to…when I was recovering from my ruptured brain aneurysm, but that was in 2006.

I’m sure any, if not all, of brain aneurysm survivors know what I’m talking about. Since my initial rupture in 2006 and with my additional procedures this past spring, I’ve always had this low-lying fear of falling and hitting my head and causing further damage to my coils, stents and unruptured aneurysm. I know it’s silly, but it’s there.

I have “caught” myself from falling on a number of occasions and even that slight catch will jar my head and I’ll feel it. I’m sure only those who are here, know what that means and feels like.

Well, last Friday morning I fell up the concrete stairs into our new office building. Not used to those stairs yet. No, I didn’t hit my head, thankfully, but this is the first time I think I’ve really fallen and didn’t have control. It DID jar my head and that scared me. I just had to sit there a bit and take stock and realize, that although I had some scrapes and had hit my shoulder badly, I was OK.

Thankfully, I fell UP the stairs because I fear going down them would have been worse. I suppose this fear will alway be there. Just another added “benefit” of the lovely aneurysms.

Oh, and thanks to being on Plavix after my stenting in March, the bruise on my arm is VERY colorful to say the least! LOL Ice is helping, buy it’s damn sore.

Still, it wasn’t my head, so I’m thankful.