Dave and I went to see the musical “Jesus Christ Superstar” at the Waterville Opera House. It was a fantastic production. I’ve never seen this musical. Have heard of it, heard a lot of the music, but haven’t seen it live before which is always good because I’m not comparing it to any show I’ve been in or have previously seen. Something I tend to do quite often! So, this was a “fresh” show for me even though it has been around for over 30 years. LOL

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve done community theater for over 20 years now. 15 years back in NY and I’ve done four shows since I moved to Maine. Two of which were in the Opera House. I was amazed at the set and the number of people in this show. The wings (back stage on the side) of this stage are very limited for space. It also looked to be a full-house tonight which is terrific to see.

Since my aneurysm, I’ve been asked by a few people if I have been in any other shows or plan to be. Truthfully, I just don’t know if I can anymore. I was thinking as I watched the show how much work, time and energy goes into each show. Even with the smallest roles, the weeks before and during performances are very stressful and require a lot of patience and professionalism by all involved. I can probably still handle the patience and professionalism involved, it’s the stress and energy that concerns me. I tired so easily still and I’m wondering if I’d be able to memorize and remember lines like I used to. I’d hate to make the commitment to a show only to totally screw it up.

Yes, if the show were the ONLY thing I was doing, I think I could do it, but since we’re not paid actors in community theater, we’re basically “volunteering” to act and do this in our “down time” AFTER work. It’s the 30 mile drive to work, then working 8 or more hours, then rehearsing, then driving back home the 30 miles that is making me think I may not be able to do shows anymore. At least in the Waterville area. And that, my friends, depressed me a great deal.

I enjoy theater so much. I enjoy becoming other fun and interesting people and I enjoy making people laugh. Far more than I do making them cry. Comedy has always been my choice. Make them laugh and feel good. The hell with drama and pain and crime. God knows we all have enough of that in our lives…why pay money to go see more?

When I got home tonight, I shared with Dave my thought on how I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to do a show again. Then I ended up sitting in my chair watching TV for an hour feeling sorry for myself. Poor me….what a pity the poor old girl doesn’t think she can act anymore. Boo, hoo. Well, it is sad. Granted, I can’t play the good soprano musical comedy roles, nor am I the nubile nymph I once was when I played Audrey in “Little Shop Of Horrors” or Lily St. Regis in “Annie”, but if the role of Miss Hannigan from “Annie” ever came up in this area, I’d be chomping at the bit to play it…and knowing I might not be able to, is very sad.

I still have limitations and I know that, but I should be grateful I can still attend plays and enjoy them and enjoy the work that others put into the craft. Instead….I’ll probably just feel sorry for myself awhile longer.