It’s odd. As the one-year anniversary of my ruptured brain aneurysm looms closer, as I repeat doing some of the same things I did last year, I get “nervous”. I can’t think of any other word for it. It’s like, if I do the same things I did last year, it’ll happen again or something. Even though I know it won’t. Silly really.
I also think about the things I did last year not knowing I had the little, well, NOT so little, time bomb there. The stress of work is bringing it all back heavily. How did I not burst an aneurysm during the previous years of the catalog? Why didn’t it burst during my most stressful days last year? Certainly, it could have been worse and I’m very lucky to be here to experience all the lovely stress of THIS year’s catalog process, but I can’t help think about last year and how close I could have come to facing the grim reaper.
It’s almost like I’m reliving last year, but this time with the knowledge I had the aneurysm. It IS making me take things slower and easier and I’m giving myself more breaks and trying to enjoy life more this fall than I did last fall. I’m just lucky I’m HERE this fall to enjoy it right? No one reads this…not sure why I ask questions! LOL