Strength

My 2nd cousin, Jennifer, has been battling brain cancer since 1999. The fact she’s even here is a miracle and yet she continues to show such strength and character through pain and trauma. I’m in awe.

Her brother, TR set up a web page on the website The Caring Bridge. I have never heard of this website, but it’s a fantastic way to keep a wide range of people from all over the country up-to-date on the progress she is making.

As I was reading the posts and Jennifer’s story, and realizing just how long she has been battling this, it struck close to home. It hit me that only a little over a year ago I may not have been here and here she is being so brave and putting on a strong face when she’s in so much pain………I got very emotional. It just hit me suddenly. I’m small change compared to what she has had to endure. I don’t know why it’s hitting me so strange…..perhaps I’ll find out when I see my therapist next week. Survivor’s guilt?

I also have two other 1st cousins who have battled aneurysms and thankfully, we’ve all WON, but with three 1st cousins with annies and the daughter of another with brain cancer, I’d think all of our cousins would be running to have MRI’s and angiograms….they SHOULD. I know my cousin Toby has had an MRI (I believe) since her sister and I had our annies coiled…and thank God everything looked good, but I worry about my two older (40’s & 50’s) sisters who are heavy coffee drinkers, drink alcohol and have been smokers for many years. All things I’ve read that make them at risk for annies. Hereditary, smoking and age – it makes me scared.

I’m scared for Jennifer and yet I’m hopeful the new and progressive treatments she is about to undertake will help her. God has kept her on this planet for a reason and hopefully he still has other plans for her here.

For those of you with family members battling illness, check out The Caring Bridge website. It’s a terrific vehicle for sharing and sending messages to those who need it.

Another

It was very nice…a coworker asked me how I was doing. I said “Fine”. Then she said “No, Heidi…HOW ARE YOU FEELING?”. LOL She obviously meant the post-annie recovery. I haven’t been asked that question by anyone at work in so long, it threw me.

I informed her I was doing great. She asked about after effects and I explained the fatigue and the brain fatigue and some limitations on physical activities, but that considering what could have happened, I’m doing great. She asked if it changed my life at all…well, absolutely! I value my time AWAY from work far more than I valued my time at work and that work is not the most important thing in my life. My LIFE is the most important thing. Everyone in the lunchroom who overheard it was nodding.

Still Limits

Well, Friday at work I had a five hour meeting with no real lunch break. I can’t do that anymore I have learned. Wow, was I beat, tired and fried afterwards. The brain fatigue was quite evident. Then after getting my grocery list together once I got home from work, my head starting hurting…right where the annie is/was.

Saturday, we decorated the Xmas tree. It took me a long time to get going, but once I did I got into it and again, probably did too much at one time. Nothing like I was last year however when I had to stop every 10 minutes to take a break and drink some water. Things were still “settling” last year but I find that bending over still bothers me..at least doing it too quickly…or doing it too quickly after a day with a five hour meeting! LOL

The tree looks beautiful and has many more ornaments on it than it did last year due to my sluggishness at that time. I’m just happy to be here for another Christmas!

Coiling Graphic

I was doing a search last night on platinum coils and ran across this graphic on the BBCNews.com website from 2005.

Brain Aneurysm Coiling
How, and where coils are inserted into brain aneurysm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I had found this graphic a year ago when I felt like an idiot for asking Dr. Kwan how he got to the left side of my brain from my right groin. LOL A pretty amazing procedure and this is a very simple explanation.

Then it made me think of just how lucky I was that this massive annie didn’t rupture more than it did. How it didn’t rupture during some of the most strenuous and stressed other periods of my life prior to last Oct. is beyond me.