Category: Support

10 Months and Counting

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I failed to realize that this past Sunday was my 10 month anniversary of my rupture. And even though I failed to realize it, the way I spent the day was a celebration of life and enjoying it with family and enjoying the outdoors.

It was a beautiful day full of glorious, bright blue skies, light winds, no humidity and warm, but not hot, temperatures. Dave and I enjoyed coffee & tea out on the boat at the dock, then his niece Kim drove up from Portland and joined us. We spent all day out on the water. At least three separate trips with breaks for more food and drink in between. A very enjoyable, restful, un-stressful day with close family.

In the past 10 months I have recovered nicely. Things certainly could have been a lot worse. I take life and do things far more slowly than I used to. I guess that old adage to “stop and smell the roses” is coming in to play. There are just more important things to be concerned about in life. It doesn’t mean I still don’t want to go on a big shopping spree and buy a new wardrobe and drop that 10 extra pounds I can’t seem to lose, but it isn’t as important to me as it used to be. I’m healthy, I have a job and am living each day – and I’m very lucky to have a loving family and my “Maine
Man”.

Dave has been my rock, my handyman, my chauffeur, my broad shoulders, my sounding board and so much more. I couldn’t have gotten through this without him, literally. If he had not been home that morning last Oct. 4th, I don’t know if I would have driven myself to the ER that morning. I don’t know if I could have. Truthfully, I probably would have waited until later that morning and called to see if I could get in to see my regular Dr….and that may not have happened right away. Granted, Dr. Kwan may have very well saved my life, but Dave has save me in so many other ways. I’m so very lucky.

I’m not sure what my one year anniversary will bring. Probably lots of memories and I’ll be so busy at work during that time, I’ll probably be too tired to do much, but I will mark the occasion in some fashion.

I still get headaches, I still get very, very tired, my eyes will still bother me on occasion, I still get winded…but it has been worse. And I’ll continue to hold on to that. 10 months down….many more to go.

I’m Really Glad

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I’m really glad I have kept a record of my recovery from my ruptured brain anuerysm, coiling surgery and recovery. Even though the entries from the first few days are more remembrances, than actual recordings of the day’s events, it has proved to be a terrific reminder of just how far I have come.

The simple things of doing a loud of laundry or loading the dishwasher as being daily accomplishments are a good reminder of how unstable and insecure I was back in Oct. & Nov. and how much progress I have truly made since then. The headaches directly related to the annie, the blood leakage and the surgery have ceased. I’m back at work full-time, driving and grocery shopping. I think it’ll be good to remind myself of those days when I’m feeling frustrated with the things I still can’t do fully. I may NEVER be able to work at top speed on some things again, but it’s good to remind myself that I wasn’t able to do much less than that for a short period of time. Thankfully, it WAS a short period of time. As I have continued to state….I’m very lucky.

Notes from the Past

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Today at work, I know I should have been working, I opened a folder in my personal email from home and found an email from a friend from a couple of days after my surgery last Oct.

Included in the reply of this email was Dave’s initial email to everyone telling them of my ruptured aneurysm and the surgery and some personal “just between you and me” comments. Reading this and seeing brought home how scary this must have all been for Dave. I’m so glad my sister flew in to be with him during the surgery and how I wish he had had someone with him to help him through it. He certainly helped ME get through it.

I’m very lucky.

Why Bother

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Why is it that when I have worries, when I share those concerns with people, all they say is don’t worry about it?

Saying “don’t worry about it” doesn’t validate my feelings, it only makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong, or bad because I have concerns. How is that helpful?

I have every right to be feeling concerned because we’ve lost three key people  now in the catalog process at work. I was concerned simply about my own job and my own well-being during this year’s catalog after my ruptured annie last year and now a lot more is going to be dumped on our department as well as me.

So, just let me feel worried, okay?