Tomorrow we walk for Kim and to make people aware of brain aneurysms, their symptoms, the procedures to fix them and the many lives that are affected. It will be a bittersweet day, especially as the 3-year annie-versary of my own ruptured brain aneurysm approached in a few weeks.
Click here for more information and to see what a special person Kim was.
We’re home from the 2009 Walk For Thought for the Brain Injury Association of Maine. It was on a much smaller scale than last year, but with the same passion and drive of the volunteers and participants.
The event was at a Junior High School gym. Much smaller than the large indoor track we had the college last year, so it was boring scenery that came by much quicker! LOL It was 22 laps around the gym to roughly equal a mile. We only got to 2 1/2 miles. It was a tough walk with people in a smaller space and having to be careful of folks in wheel chairs, one blind person with a helper and a few baby strollers being pushed. It was very cold outside and they didn’t designate an outdoor route, so it was all indoors.
But, as it was last year, it was very well organized with a lot of care and attention. I donated the t-shirt I was given, back to the BIAME to help fund the costs of the events. I raised a total of $753 dollars this year. Almost half of what I raised last year, but with the current economy, I was shocked I reached my initial $500 goal.
Obviously, Dave and I had Kim on our minds and in our hearts today and I was thinking about Jennifer a great deal as well. When we signed the “Wall Of Fame” poster, we signed it “in loving memory of Kim & Jennifer.”
It was a pretty short event as well. We started the walk at 9:30 and by 10:30, lunch had been delivered and the crowd started to thin out. When we reach 2 1/2 miles, tables and chairs were being put away and things were being taken off the wall. I think we would have walked a little bit more, but we felt the pressure of stopping! LOL
There was one man there by himself. I saw him walk in and sit at a table behind us for breakfast. He had a photograph with him and kept taking it out and staring at it. Obviously, he was walking there today with someone in mind as well. There was another man who we saw last year. He’s in a wheelchair, but used a walker to make several laps last year. He was doing a lot better this year with the walker and had a lot more speed. I commented to one of the women who was with him that he was doing better, but she said he was having difficulty looking at the floor. I agreed that was an issue…I kind of realized after awhile that it was bothering me too. There was a small pattern to the glossy wood floor.
Instead of the live band this year, they had a D.J. playing some tunes. It was fun and helped pass the time once Dave and I started to wind down. I’m hoping the other walks in the area have bigger turn outs and get more money. They said there were 50 walkers registered today, so that’s down from last year.
We’re both a little sore and quite tired, but I’m glad we did it again and will no doubt participate next year as well.
I went Christmas shopping this past week. That’s not so unusual. But the last two years since my rupture, I’ve done the majority, if not all, my Christmas shopping online as stores just bother me too much.
I decided to take a chance and save on some shipping and time and go to two stores (Target and Barnes & Noble). I took my time and after six hours and THREE stores, I was home. I didn’t even eat lunch (bad Heidi!) I still had some issue with over-stimulation in some aisles, but once I just got into the rhythm of very deliberately looking at one item, registering it in my brain, the moving on, it went very well. I was by myself, so I didn’t feel any pressure to hurry up or move along and that was the key. I could take my sweet old time and go through one aisle as many times as I wanted to.
Going into Michael’s Craft store was a huge hurdle. The first time I went into that store after my rupture, it was awful. The aisles are very narrow and they’re packed floor to ceiling with oodles of items. I’ve been in a couple of times since and this time it wasn’t too bad. I think I went through the store four times, so getting the lay of the land, as it were, helped.
So, for those of you having problems in stores, it will get better. I rested before I went shopping and made sure I ate a good breakfast. If I try to shop after working all day, it’s usually very, very tiring and disruptive on my brain and eyes. Too much stimulation with colors, shapes and text.
I was pleased after visiting three stores and not having any lunch with how I felt when i got home. The lunch thing wasn’t good, but I was on a roll. I was VERY tired the next day, but not in pain…just dopey. I’ve always taken a day off work in December to go Christmas shopping. I actually enjoy it. Listening to carols and looking at all of the pretty decorations and buying things I know will make my family and friends smile. I still enjoy shopping online better (no parking or lousy sales people to deal with) but for Christmas this is an “outing” for me and I was glad I finally was able to get out there and do it again.
I’m reminded of my post from December, 2006 when just wrapping presents exhausted and frustrated me. I’ve come a long way baby! Merry Christmas!
It’s strange…16 months after my rupture, as I’m trying to get to sleep last night, for some reason, I started to think (or perhaps it was dream) of the morning it occurred again. Not a clue why it popped into my head. Perhaps it’s because of those nagging headaches I still get at night or first thing in the morning. Mostly of which, I’m sure are sinus.
Only this time, I wasn’t thinking about what happened here at home as I usually do, or at the hospital, but at work. I don’t recall hearing how Dave let someone know that morning. I think he called in, but don’t now what time, and I couldn’t remember who he called. I have to believe it must have been shocking that morning as people learned of the seriousness of what was happening to me and especially our catalog team as we were zeroing in on finishing up the catalog files to send to them to the printer. Luckily, I had just finished up with the main layout, but I don’t recall if everyone knew that.
It was almost like I was there wandering the halls at work that morning trying to find out what was going on…perhaps I was dreaming. If I wasn’t, I’m worried. LOL
Again, I’m not sure why those thoughts came to be. Perhaps it’s due to my being worried about this year’s catalog. A lot of changes…perhaps a much larger catalog, which means a lot more of my time. A new job title, with some new responsibilities….everything is still a big question mark and I don’t like that. I like to know what’s going on so I can plan and prepare. It’s just who I am. I don’t mind change, but it’s the impending stress that I’m worried about. Stressing about stress! LOL Not a good thing and also not having someone here in Maine to operate, should I need to have something done with my coiling down the road….wow, getting WAY ahead of myself.
Anyway…for those of you reading this, even months and years after your annie and operation, you’ll always think of it and at the strangest time.
Heidi's Brain Blog 