Category: Strength

It’s Strange

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It’s strange…16 months after my rupture, as I’m trying to get to sleep last night, for some reason, I started to think (or perhaps it was dream) of the morning it occurred again. Not a clue why it popped into my head. Perhaps it’s because of those nagging headaches I still get at night or first thing in the morning. Mostly of which, I’m sure are sinus.

Only this time, I wasn’t thinking about what happened here at home as I usually do, or at the hospital, but at work. I don’t recall hearing how Dave let someone know that morning. I think he called in, but don’t now what time, and I couldn’t remember who he called. I have to believe it must have been shocking that morning as people learned of the seriousness of what was happening to me and especially our catalog team as we were zeroing in on finishing up the catalog files to send to them to the printer. Luckily, I had just finished up with the main layout, but I don’t recall if everyone knew that.

It was almost like I was there wandering the halls at work that morning trying to find out what was going on…perhaps I was dreaming. If I wasn’t, I’m worried. LOL

Again, I’m not sure why those thoughts came to be. Perhaps it’s due to my being worried about this year’s catalog. A lot of changes…perhaps a much larger catalog, which means a lot more of my time. A new job title, with some new responsibilities….everything is still a big question mark and I don’t like that. I like to know what’s going on so I can plan and prepare. It’s just who I am. I don’t mind change, but it’s the impending stress that I’m worried about. Stressing about stress! LOL Not a good thing and also not having someone here in Maine to operate, should I need to have something done with my coiling down the road….wow, getting WAY ahead of myself.

Anyway…for those of you reading this, even months and years after your annie and operation, you’ll always think of it and at the strangest time.

Walk For Thought

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I had a Dr’s appointment today and the word “Brain” caught my eye on a brochure in the waiting room so I grabbed one. It was a brochure to advertise the Walk For Thought on March 22nd to support the Brain Injury Association of Maine. Something about it just struck me and I wanted to participate in some way.

Well, I had 50 minutes to wait for the Dr., so I decided I’d take the plunge and register for the walk. It’s a 3-5 miles course. I’m not sure I can do the whole thing, at least not without some breaks, but I’m willing to give it a shot to support the kind of programs the the BIAM offer because my recovery could have turned out very different and both Dave and I could have been in great need of their services.

I registered, then sent out some emails to get donations for my walk. I was amazed at the instant generosity by my co-workers. One co-worker reminded me her father had suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm 11 years ago. He’s very different, but he’s alive and is still here for her…others have not been so lucky…so I walk!

I also walk for my cousin Jennifer.

Still Limits

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Well, Friday at work I had a five hour meeting with no real lunch break. I can’t do that anymore I have learned. Wow, was I beat, tired and fried afterwards. The brain fatigue was quite evident. Then after getting my grocery list together once I got home from work, my head starting hurting…right where the annie is/was.

Saturday, we decorated the Xmas tree. It took me a long time to get going, but once I did I got into it and again, probably did too much at one time. Nothing like I was last year however when I had to stop every 10 minutes to take a break and drink some water. Things were still “settling” last year but I find that bending over still bothers me..at least doing it too quickly…or doing it too quickly after a day with a five hour meeting! LOL

The tree looks beautiful and has many more ornaments on it than it did last year due to my sluggishness at that time. I’m just happy to be here for another Christmas!

Looking Back

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In looking back at this time last year, I was still struggling. Struggling with my balance, my head pain and my every day life. A little over a year ago, I was still using a cane and had barely set foot into a store, much less drove my car.

Yes, I have made some major milestones in the last year. I feel very good and am starting to exercise again. We’ll see how well I can stick to it this time. I went back to work full time in April and although the catalog was a huge, huge struggle for me this year, I did it.

I still get very tired, which is a little frustrating and I still feel “brain tired” when I overdo it at the computer, or pretty much anything that involves a lot of brain work. Even everyday things.

Last year I recall being frustrated with how pooped I’d get wrapping presents and how I was unable to assist with the Christmas tree as much as I would have wanted. This year, I hope to make some more milestones by stepping it up from last year and being able to do more.

Dave, as usual, has been wonderfully supportive and caring. I still don’t know what I’ve done to deserve him, but I’m a lucky woman all the way around.