Category: Rupture

It’s Strange

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It’s strange…16 months after my rupture, as I’m trying to get to sleep last night, for some reason, I started to think (or perhaps it was dream) of the morning it occurred again. Not a clue why it popped into my head. Perhaps it’s because of those nagging headaches I still get at night or first thing in the morning. Mostly of which, I’m sure are sinus.

Only this time, I wasn’t thinking about what happened here at home as I usually do, or at the hospital, but at work. I don’t recall hearing how Dave let someone know that morning. I think he called in, but don’t now what time, and I couldn’t remember who he called. I have to believe it must have been shocking that morning as people learned of the seriousness of what was happening to me and especially our catalog team as we were zeroing in on finishing up the catalog files to send to them to the printer. Luckily, I had just finished up with the main layout, but I don’t recall if everyone knew that.

It was almost like I was there wandering the halls at work that morning trying to find out what was going on…perhaps I was dreaming. If I wasn’t, I’m worried. LOL

Again, I’m not sure why those thoughts came to be. Perhaps it’s due to my being worried about this year’s catalog. A lot of changes…perhaps a much larger catalog, which means a lot more of my time. A new job title, with some new responsibilities….everything is still a big question mark and I don’t like that. I like to know what’s going on so I can plan and prepare. It’s just who I am. I don’t mind change, but it’s the impending stress that I’m worried about. Stressing about stress! LOL Not a good thing and also not having someone here in Maine to operate, should I need to have something done with my coiling down the road….wow, getting WAY ahead of myself.

Anyway…for those of you reading this, even months and years after your annie and operation, you’ll always think of it and at the strangest time.

1-Year Annie-Versary

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My one-year annie-versary was met with a beautifully, sunny and warm fall day. However, unlike last year’s day spent in ICU, this day was filled with self-indulgence and rewards- and why not?

  1. I took the day off work. I wanted to celebrate this day with living…not working.
  2. I treated myself to a one-hour aromatherapy massage, a french manicure and a warm stone facial at The Senator Inn & Spa.
  3. Dave and I enjoyed a nice mid-day cruise on the boat after my spa visit and I called my mom…something I was unable to do for almost 7 days last year. He set out a Care Bear and a very sweet card for me. (Check out this entry on the history of the Care Bear.)
  4. Dave presented me with a small pumpkin and a card which contained a gift certificate for my favorite greenhouse Longfellows Greenhouse at the hotel. He had packed the pumpkin in his suit case! LOL
  5. Dave and I enjoyed a wonderful dinner at The Senator Inn & Spa’s restaurant Cloud 9 and started it off with a champagne toast before dinner. We ended with a carry-out tiramisu to enjoy later in our room.
  6. We enjoyed the pool and hot tub at the inn and worked off our dinner…well, Dave did! LOL
  7. We stayed overnight in a spa suite with a nice gas fireplace and very cushy beds.
  8. The next day Dave and I had a terrific breakfast then enjoyed a visit to the greenhouse to pick up some pumpkins, hay and corn stalks for some seasonal fall decorating. I don’t normally decorate for fall, but this year I am because I’m here to enjoy it, so why not?
  9. A fall drive through the hills to enjoy the foliage was next and another sunny, warm day greeted us.
  10. We enjoyed a long cruise on the boat where at anchor, we both fell asleep. Thankfully, it wasn’t windy, so no fear of the anchor coming loose while dozing! LOL

The night before, the day of and the day after my annie-versary, were filled with lengthy discussions and memories of how it was a year ago and things that happened to not only Dave and myself, but to other family members and coworkers. I found out some things I hadn’t known before about the day I was admitted to the hospital and when I went into surgery and during recovery. Mostly because I was on so much medication I don’t a lot of it.

Although Friday was a day filled with rewards for myself, it was reward enough to be here and to be enjoying such a lovely time with my “Maine Man”…who has been smoke-free for a year as well.

I certainly had some strange emotions flowing through me this past week. I can’t even put some of them into words. I just know in remembering how things were last year I’m very lucky and very blessed.

Surgery

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I don’t recall much about the day of the surgery. I remember being wheeled down the hallway to surgery mostly because it is painted with giant flowers. I remember being shaved in the groin and getting a shot there and that’s it.

Dori and Dave comforted each other during the surgery which lasted 2 hours. They visited the chapel and prayed for me and were greatly relieved to see Dr. Kwan come out of surgery with a smile on his face saying things went well, then to see me being wheeled out of surgery with my hand on my chin already complaining about the tape gunk on my chin from the feeding/air tube they had to insert for surgery.

Apparently, my post-anesthesia comedy show was a hit. I complained that Ashley from the ‘Dancing With The Stars’ television show was losing her microphone. Which is odd because they don’t sing anyway!

Then I said “The Care Bears are drowning”. Dori asked me if I wanted her to save the Care Bears, or if I wanted to do it? I then said with great disdain “Screw the Care Bears!”.  Comic relief. I was told nurses laughed as well. I’m glad I entertained! LOL I don’t recall a moment of it.

I vaguely recall the rest of that day and night because I got pretty sick. I could not stomach morphine, then they wanted me to swallow these massive horse pills called Nimodipin which were vital pills for me to take as they prevent vasospasms.

The Day It Happened

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The morning of October 5th began at 4:00 a.m. I was NOT happy that the kitty cats were up at this hour playing. I got up, visited the bathroom and climbed back in to bed. This is where the day changed dramatically.

I had a horrible pain in my head and the base of my skull in the upper part of my neck. Something like I had never experienced. I could not get comfortable. I was short of breath. I tried sitting up, I tried standing, but was brought to my knees due to be unbalanced…nothing helped. I knew something was wrong, but didn’t know what is was. I awoke Dave simply saying “Something is wrong with me.”. He called 911.

As Dave was on the phone describing my symptoms, both hands went completely numb. I thought for sure I was having a heart attack. I have never experienced anything like this. Very scary. He hung up from 911 and we waited……and waited. 20 minutes later the EMTs arrived.

By that time, I had calmed down, the pain wasn’t as severe and once they took my vital signs, the distress wasn’t nearly as much as it was before. I didn’t know what was happening, but still knew something wasn’t right. The EMTs left it up to us if they wanted them to transport us to the ER to be looked at, or if they wanted to call ahead and let us drive over. We decided on the later, but even that was a question. One of the EMTs said that if I felt is was something so unusual that I SHOULD get it checked out. Thank God we did.

Dave and I drove to the Augusta Medical Center emergency room. No one else was there, so at least I wouldn’t have to wait, but I wasn’t feeling good that’s for sure. Very weak, headache and neck ache. We got right in to see a Dr. and thankfully, he had an inclination on what I might be. He ordered a CT scan.

I was given something to calm me down..not sure what. I just know when the Dr. came back into the room with the results of the scan, I was numb….literally. I assumed because of the way my heart races, my arms when numb and other things, that it was all heart related. I was completely unprepared for the Dr. to say I had had a ruptured brain artery or aneurysm! I knew this was NOT good and could be deadly. I was still numb, not really able to completely take I what I was being old.

Portland Maine Medical Center and within 15 minutes it was there and ready to go. It was all a whirlwind at that point. All happened so quickly, and thankfully so. Dave didn’t ride down in the ambulance with me, but wanted to stay back and speak with the Dr. a moment while I was transported. It was the quickest trip to Portland I’ve never made in my life. Close to 30 minutes. It’s normally an hour or so away. Dave followed behind and must have
been driving very close to the ambulance speed because he was right there after I arrived at the hospital.

I was still pretty out of it. I don’t recall a lot of my arrival at Portland Maine Med. I knew I was in SCU3 or special care unit 3 (ICU). I recall having more scans to fully determine the extent of the damage. They reconfirmed it was a ruptured aneurysm, but luckily, one that hadn’t bled too much. It would still require surgery and quickly. The best guy to do it there at Maine Med was Dr. Eddie Kwan. He was expected to be on vacation. If they could get him, I could have it done right there…if not, I may have to go to Boston. Ugh!

Thankfully, Dr. Kwan either cut short his vacation, or hadn’t left town yet, and was able to perform surgery the next morning.

During this time Dave called Dori and she immediately made arrangements to fly out to be with Dave. I’m so thankful she was able to do that. Not only did I need to see a familiar face from back in NY there, but Dave really needed someone there as well. I wasn’t “experiencing” much at that point, other than pain and discomfort, but Dave and Dori and the rest of my family must have been so frightened. Dori flew in Thursday afternoon.