Category: Frustrated

Shopping

Published on by heiditeaLeave a comment

I couldn’t think of a more clever title for this entry. Shopping. I don’t care for it…especially IN a store. Online shopping I can do with ease and with very little discomfort or distress. But going to an actual store to shop is another story.

Even 8 1/2 years after my rupture and over a year after my clipping, shopping in stores still causes me and my blinged-out brain some issues. Mostly in stores I don’t frequent as much. If I have trouble finding what I’m looking for, it means I have to go through every aisle and rack multiple times, over and over again. It requires thinking, seeing and concentrating in very compact spurts. Almost like power thinking. It’s extremely tiring and can give me an instant headache and eye strain. There is just too much visual stimulation and requires my brain to process a lot of information and data at once.

All the more frustrating was that I couldn’t find the main thing I went to that particular store to get in the first place. This is also one of the main reasons I shop online…I can find what I’m looking for much easier and in less time. Yes, I cannot try it on immediately, but I can always return something if it doesn’t fit.

I know I’m not the only aneurysm survivor who experiences issues in stores, but it still gets a tad frustrating…and just a wee bit painful. I know I could have far worse side-effects and deficits from my brain aneurysms, so I consider myself very lucky. Some discomfort on those rare occasions when I DO go into a shopping store is a small price to pay.

But this is MY blog and I can complain if I want to, right? 🙂

 

The 9-Month Update

Published on by heiditea4 Comments

It has been awhile since I gave an update on my noggin. I’ve been very busy, very tired, and very tired. Now, none of that is highly unusual for this time of year. It is catalog time which usually means it’s very busy and I’m very tired…It just usually isn’t on top of brain surgery 9 months prior.

I’ve been a very bad patient too. I haven’t eaten well. I don’t exercise and I’m not giving myself enough breaks from the computer during the day. It’s no wonder I’m tired, cranky and head-achey. It’s the nature of the beast this time of year, but there are some new aches and pains around my head and skull that annoy.

My scalp is still numb over a large chunk of my skull. I’ve started to get used to it I guess. It’s still odd, but isn’t anything painful, so that’s good. I do get odd pains in and around the incision area and where the skin would have been pealed back from the skull. Not sure what triggers it or how to make it feel better. Usually resting does it…and yes, I haven’t done enough of that either. Why do I do it? Life is too short….I guess I’m just one of those human beings who feels responsible for my job. I have a major deadline to meet and I haven’t missed it once in the last 13 years. Well, I can’t remember if they got the files to the printer on time the year my other brain aneurysm ruptured, but I wasn’t exactly “aware” at that time.

Chocolate is my friend this time of year. It’s what “sustains” us! LOL The extreme comfort food…any time of the day.

Adding to the stress of uneasiness about my frame of mind and stamina this time of year is that my mother was in the hospital back in NY and is now in a rehab center. I haven’t seen her at all. I don’t dare take any time off this time of year. I hope to get to NY as soon as I can after the catalog has been printed and I can settle back into a normal routine at work. I feel horrible not being there for her and my niece, who is handling everything for mom by herself. Thankfully, Mom appears to be doing okay and is in good spirits which helps. She’s a tough old bird at 88 and seems to be enjoying some of the new people she has met.

Dave, as usual, has had to deal with my many moods, mood swings, and horrible meals this time of year. Usually the months of September (because of the Maine Brain Aneurysm Walk/Run) and October (catalog) are filled with junk food and fatigue. Then Dave just broke two ribs last weekend, so he’s not doing well himself! We’re a great pair. I’m calling him “short ribs”. 🙂 Thank God I have such a wonderful husband who allows me to be ticked off, vent, and generally will leave me alone when I need to be during this time. He never complains. How DID I get so lucky?

Last year at this time I was keeping the fact I was going to have a craniotomy the next January a secret from my co-workers until the catalog was completed. All that time I was able to “plan” my schedule around my surgery and make sure I had things in order and had people lined up to assist while I was out. I suppose that’s one of the GOOD things about knowing you’ll have surgery on a brain aneurysm instead of a sudden, emergency situation: you can plan! And I’m also urging people to be scanned and go to the Dr. if they’re experiencing any of the symptoms of a brain aneurysm.

My niece was scanned this summer and by the grace of God, everything looked fine. Even if they had found something, I know from personal experience, it’s not a death sentence. There ARE treatments out there and there ARE things that can be done to save a life. I’m LIVING proof of that! Just taking it one day at a time and “playing it by ear” as my family says.

Mixed Blessings

Published on by heiditea1 Comment

So far this year registration for the KAT-Walk and Karo 5-K run is up considerably from last year. Sadly, part of that uptick is due to a beautiful young man being taken from us by a ruptured brain aneurysm. The outpouring of support for his family from the community and his friends is tragic and wonderful all at the same time. We should all be so lucky to have that kind of comfort at such a terrible time.

We get excited when we see new faces joining us, but it may be because they recently suffered or survived so it then seems wrong to show excitement in any fashion. Reaching out to other survivors and people who have lost a loved one is very important to let them know they’re not alone and to offer support through a day that can be filled with a wide range of emotions. Thankfully the walk/run has also attracted repeat visitors and they make it an annual event to honor themselves, their loved one, or a friend who has been touched by brain aneurysms. We’re so lucky to have their show of support as well.

Monetary donations are vital in helping raise brain aneurysm awareness. I am personally thankful for the 15 people who have donated money on my fundraising page for this year’s event.

However, each year when the walk comes around, I’m always disappointed in the lack of support shown for me AT the event. In fact during my 6 months recovery in the hospital and at home after my ruptured brain aneurysm in 2006, only one co-worker visited me. And during my recovery from my clipping this past January, no one visited. One close friend visited, but only after he got over his cold! 🙂 I couldn’t afford to get sick at that point and sneezing wouldn’t have been fun. So, is it any wonder I get a little down at this time each year?

There is only so much I can do. I’m not allowed to send out one mass email to all of my co-workers anymore and I put posters up in all three locations and lay brochures out. Oh, well. I just need to get over it already. Or perhaps I’m just not that likable and I have annoyed them with my brain aneurysms enough. LOL

That being said, I HAVE made friends that do attend the walk. They’ve been made mostly through the event and they always come anyway, not to support me in general. There are two other survivors who I have been in contact with for many years and I know I can always count on them in some fashion. One is from NH and the other is from FL and will again make the journey to Maine for our event. I can’t even get people IN the state to drive down to Portland for me. Entire groups of people drive or fly hundreds of miles to support their other family members and friends and that’s truly, truly wonderful for them.

My family has gotten smaller over the last couple of years, although my two sisters, Dori and Rhonda from NY never attended the event either, I now walk to honor both their memories as well as for myself because I’m a two-time survivor. Yeah, me! 🙂

Sorry…needed to vent. So lets count this as my whiny, selfish blog entry, okay? It’s my blog… I can vent if I want to, right?

What is the difference between an embolism and an aneurysm?

Published on by heiditeaLeave a comment

With the sudden death of Martha Stewart’s youngest sister from a ruptured brain aneurysm, and the tragic loss locally of a young 17-year old from a pulmonary embolism, there has been some confusion between the two terms. They are not the same thing.

According to Dr. Mark Hoepfner on healthtap.com:

“In general, in any location of the body, an aneurysm is a weakness in the wall of the artery resulting in a ballooning or enlargement of that portion of the artery, and not necessarily a blockage of the artery.

An embolism would be a blood clot that forms and travels to the inside of a blood vessel causing an internal blockage of the vessel.”

If a large blood clot (embolism) blocks an artery, blood flow may be completely stopped, causing sudden death.

A ruptured aneurysm releases blood into the spaces around the brain, called a subarachnoid hemorrhage (SAH). SAH is life threatening with a 50% risk of death. Blood in the subarachnoid space increases pressure on the brain. At the same time, the area of brain that previously received oxygen-rich blood from the affected artery is now deprived of blood, resulting in a stroke.

With the two terms sounding so much alike, I can understand how people can get the two confused. Sadly, they can both result in sudden death. It is disconcerting that when news reports discuss a cause of death from either of these issues, they choose not to explain what they are or how they are diagnosed, treated, or any risk factors that may cause them. Knowledge is power and it could save a life.