Category: Frustrated

Clean-up in Aisle Four

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Dave drove me down to the local gas station again for some groceries. We had two things on our short list: bread
and cookies. So, I thought I could handle that.

Since we don’t do our normal grocery shopping there, but it’s closest to our house, it’s the best place to attempt to desensitize myself to stores again. My first trip last Friday, wasn’t good. I felt pretty awful by the time we got up to the counter and we only got ONE thing! I wasn’t looking forward to going again, but know I HAVE to if I’m ever going to be able to live a normal life again…because I seriously doubt Dave is going to want to do grocery shopping the rest of our lives! LOL

It wasn’t too bad. Mostly because I think we went earlier in the day and I hadn’t done a lot at the house prior to our visit. I got our two items and wandered a little bit until my eyes started to feel icky and my head started to pain. I always have Dave stick close by me in case I get sick to my stomach or want to pass out. I didn’t, so that’s good!

I felt pretty lousy when I got home though and had to lay down for some time and rest my eyes. I had the shakes and of course right after we got home, the home nurse called to see if she could come by in 15 minutes! Sure…why not! Bring it all on! LOL

It wasn’t  bad though. I felt okay the rest of the day, but then not last evening and had to take some more pills to help me sleep….it didn’t help, but I eventually got to sleep.

Today, I’m wicked tired. No explanation other than not sleeping well, but I cannot keep my eyes open. I’ve been reading, from the message board, that tiredness can drag on for a long, long time. So, I should pretty much expect that to just hit me at times. I guess this was one of those times. So…I slept.

Down Weekend

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Well, after such a good, and busy day on Friday, I think I paid for it dearly on Saturday. It was not a good day. I woke up with a headache, eye problems, some dizziness and even a little bit sick to my stomach.

I felt that way all day. Took two Tylenol with breakfast and just pretty much laid on the couch. I think four loads of laundry, moocho online shopping and the trip to the grocery store on Friday did me in.

Then after I ate dinner, I had shooting pains in my head in the area of the aneurysm. I ended up taking a Vicadin. The first in several weeks. It didn’t help I don’t think…at least not for four hours. I went to bed at 7:30 and was still having the pains around 10:30. I think shortly after 11:00 they finally stopped…or I was so exhausted I finally fell asleep.

It was the most severe pain I had had in awhile and it unnerved me. I know it’s to be expected. The pains started to hit me every 5 to 10 minutes. The frequency decreased, but not the intensity. I moaned out loud a few times mostly because between pains, I’d feel so much better, then BAM!

Then today, I felt better, but not great. I made myself try some yoga and stretching. It felt good I guess. I know
I need to do some more exercising so I don’t become a lazy bum on the couch.

Because the weather was good, Dave and I FINALLY planted my 150 tulips in the raised bed behind the garage. Dave had had to dig the trench and pretty much plant them all, water them….had to do it all and it kind of hit me how depressing it is to not be able to do much right now. I can’t just pick up and run to the store…I can’t drive yet and stores overwhelm me. I don’t like not being able to DO things…especially this time of year. I love Christmas and I know when we (or rather Dave) gets down all the Xmas decorations, I’m going to want to do more, but can’t. It will be a simple Christmas this year I’m sure and I do love to decorate.

Poor Dave. I don’t have anyone near by that I can ask to do those little tasks. He must be getting so sick of me. Especially when I can do some things around the house, but can’t do others. I know I’m frustrated and a little depressed and some PMS is coming in to play, so that’s not helping. There are just so many things I want to do and know I COULD do them before, but need help now. I don’t like being so dependent, but I have to, or I pay the price.

It Goes Like This

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My days now go something like this.

I awake around 7:00 with a headache. I get up pretty much only so I can eat breakfast and take a pill…these days only Tylenol thankfully. I only take the Vicadin if it’s a sever headache and haven’t had to do that since last Friday.

I do some things around the house…slowly, usually sitting. Then I lay down or sit down for awhile.

I’ll check my email. I lay down or sit down for awhile.

I do some things around the house…slowly, usually sitting. Then I lay down or sit down for awhile.

I’ll eat lunch. I’ll take a pill again if needed.

I’ll check my email. I lay down or sit down for awhile.

I do some things around the house…slowly, usually sitting. Then I lay down or sit down for awhile.

Either Dave or I will fix supper. We’ll eat supper. I’ll take a pill again if needed.

Then I lay down or sit down for awhile.

I’ll go to bed and take a pill before hand if needed.

Yep, that’s about it. I’m hoping to weed out one of those.
Then I lay down or sit down for awhile. Next week.

Phase 3

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I think this is phase 3 of my recovery.

It’s the time where people don’t even respond to my “reports” on how I’m doing anymore. They’ve been there, done that, so why bother. I’m sure it’s something like: “I’ve already told her I was glad she survived, I have better things to do”.

OR, could it be I’m missing human contact (other than Dave. He must be sick of me!) or that I have PMS….or that depression phase I’ve been hearing so many people say I might experience is happening. Just not sure.

I think that “cooped up feeling” is going to start too, but I just can’t do too much yet, so this could be a test the next couple of weeks.

Hell, I’ve survived worse.