Category: Family

Clipping a Brain Aneurysm

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Dave and I both admitted to each other on the drive to Portland that we were both scared last night. We were scared something would go wrong during surgery and I would not be the same afterwards. As a result I would regret making the decision. Well…as it turns out it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

We also both admitted our fears were completely resolved when Dr. Ecker walked into to the pre-op prep room and explained the procedure again. He just oozes confidence. Hower, he mentioned the size and location of the incision and THAT was news. He told us in September the size of the location he opened the skull, but not the size of the skin incision. THAT was much larger and something Dave and I should have though about but never did.

They quickly put me under when I got into operating room, so I didn’t get much of a chance to see either doctor or explore this operating theatre. Previously I had only been in radiology.

The actual procedure only took about and hour and a half instead of the 4-5 hours we were warned about.

I woke up to Dave standing over me and I was already correcting him and Dr. Ecker told me it was a huge success and they he able to place the clip in a perfect spot. He also informed me that the top of the aneurysm was very thin walled…we may have dodged a bullet with this one.

I was taken to the lovely 6o8 neuro ward. The staff is great…the atmosphere is not. I got no sleep and then became very nauseous over night as well. Twas a long night.

My head was hurting pretty bad and my jaw was quite painful. I learned the next morning they had to cut my jaw muscle. Goody!

I also got the first look at my incision. Wow! It’s big and ugly with 53 stitches in the outer skin.

Soul Searching

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As I have been psyching myself up the last three months for my surgery on the 16th, a sudden and tragic event almost put a stop to the whole process. On January 2nd, I lost my older sister Rhonda to cardiac arrest. I am now an only child and my niece has lost both of her parents in her young lifetime. Only 19 months ago, I lost my other sister Dori. Just too soon…..

My familyThankfully we all spent a joyful, family Christmas together in New York. I’m so glad I went home, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

After some soul searching, and with the prodding and support from my mother and niece, I am going to go ahead with the surgery. I suppose one can grieve just as easily during recovery. I already have the time slated off from work. I was most worried about putting my family through more stress, but they have assured me that wanted me to take care of ME and move on. Let’s hope that’s the case for all of us.

So, it will be with a heavy heart that I go into my surgery next week. Hoping that this procedure will prevent putting my family through more pain further down the road and Dave and I can continue to LIVE life and enjoy it. As we’re both so well aware…life can be very short. It can be very unfair and it can be a wonderful, beautiful thing as well.

Keep those prayers coming. We’re all going to need them.

It’s December

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Wow, December snuck up on me quickly!  Surgery is a little over a month away and I’m starting to get that anxious, nervous feeling…and not in a good way. LOL

One of the advantages of having SCHEDULED surgery is that you’re able to get things taken care of and organized. It has afforded me the time to get projects completed at work and let my co-workers know I will be out. Unlike last time, which left them in a mad scramble for another graphic artist to finish the catalog files. They’ve hired a few more employees who can handle projects for me in my absence. I just hope they’re not TOO good and I’m without a job when I get back.

My family in New York is looking forward to seeing Dave and I over the Christmas holiday. It will be sad and sweet for me all at the same time. The last time I was in NY for Christmas was in 2011. It was the last time I saw my sister Dori before her death 5 months later. I’m hoping it’s a joyous time for us all and not one of sadness or impending doom for my surgery. In my heart I know I’m doing the right thing, but I’m sure for those around me, it’s scary and confusing to understand.

We will enjoy gift giving, singing carols, and the general time together, but I know there will be a twinge in our hearts when we all say goodbye before Dave and I make the 11-hour drive back home.

Then, once we’re back, it’ll be a mad dash cleaning up all of the projects at work and possible buying myself a new bathrobe and some lounge sets for recovery. Might look at some comfy hats too…just not sure what to expect after the surgery. I’ll write down all of my passwords and logins both at home and at work…just in case. Mostly it’s in case I don’t remember them after a few weeks off. LOL

There is only so much I can do, but being given the opportunity to prepare myself and others truly is a blessing. However, it also gives me more time to worry! Let the countdown begin!

Bad form Facebook. Just bad.

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There is a birthday calendar reminder on Facebook. I normally like it as it sends up a reminder a few days before one of your “FRIENDS” has a birthday coming up.

However, I was unprepared for the reminder email I got tonight reminding me that my deceased sister’s birthday is coming up and I should remember to send her a Birthday Greeting.

Excuse me? What? Is this from the same account that we worked with Facebook on in memorizlising after her death? We had to send a copy of the death certificate and proof she had died complete with date, year, and obit to get her account distinguished like that.

Wouldn’t one think if they had received that type of very personal and devestating info, they’d automatically remove that account from being sent out on birthday reminders? Well, that makes sense.

Now, if we want to delete or deactivate the account we’re forced to go through the same damn procedure AGAIN. Ridiculous.

Obviously, I knew Dori’s birthday was coming up this Friday and I was already not looking forward to the day, then to be reminded of it in such a careless way is inexusable and thoughtless. Tears flowed and my heart broke…oh, I’d LOVE to wish her a Happy Birthday but a ruptured brain aneurysm killed her.

Thanks, but no thanks, for the lovely email reminder Facebook.