Category: Brain Aneurysm

Struggling

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I am hoping that other survivors will read this post and understand what I’m going through…no one else seems to know.

Last Friday I learned that Dr. Kwan, the man whose handy-work is in my brain, whose hands God guided to very likely save my life, who is the only Dr. who does what he does in the state of Maine….no longer practices medicine. I haven’t officially been informed, but a fellow patient of Dr. Kwan’s heard it from his office.

This is very scary and concerning. If something were to happen to my coiling…I’d have to go to Boston probably. Not that I don’t think they’re qualified, but it wouldn’t be the man I trusted and looked to to help me and guide me. He’s one of my “support team” as my therapist says. Also, since I don’t know WHY he isn’t practicing medicine, I’m a little concerned about the work he did on my brain! How could I not be?

Well, he’s the third of my “support team” to leave me in the last 3/4 of a year. My OBGYN and my neurologist left the state. So now, not only do I have to find two new people to trust, but probably one of the most important people, is gone. I’m very scared.

Add to all of that… I learn on Tuesday that my job is being changed at work.

So, is it any wonder I’m stressed? Is it any wonder I’m so freaking scared about my future, not only at work, but for my health? And now I can’t even get a note from my Dr. who did the coiling to say I need to take some breaks at work. Lovely.

I’m hoping someone out there will understand. My therapist is on vacation and others just don’t seem to get it. I’m really, really, struggling with all of this and there are no easy answers.

Dr. Kwan Be Gone

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I received a disturbing email from my friend, and fellow annie survivor, Julie, about the miracle man who performed our coiling procedures.

Apparently, he is no longer at Maine Med, or moved to Mass General, or was fired…..we don’t know yet. I dread finding another Dr. I’m so tired of having to go through my history with so many doctors and I trusted Dr. Kwan very much.

I asked Julie to let me know when she found out more.

Coiling Graphic

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I was doing a search last night on platinum coils and ran across this graphic on the BBCNews.com website from 2005.

Brain Aneurysm Coiling
How, and where coils are inserted into brain aneurysm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I had found this graphic a year ago when I felt like an idiot for asking Dr. Kwan how he got to the left side of my brain from my right groin. LOL A pretty amazing procedure and this is a very simple explanation.

Then it made me think of just how lucky I was that this massive annie didn’t rupture more than it did. How it didn’t rupture during some of the most strenuous and stressed other periods of my life prior to last Oct. is beyond me.

Looking Back

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In looking back at this time last year, I was still struggling. Struggling with my balance, my head pain and my every day life. A little over a year ago, I was still using a cane and had barely set foot into a store, much less drove my car.

Yes, I have made some major milestones in the last year. I feel very good and am starting to exercise again. We’ll see how well I can stick to it this time. I went back to work full time in April and although the catalog was a huge, huge struggle for me this year, I did it.

I still get very tired, which is a little frustrating and I still feel “brain tired” when I overdo it at the computer, or pretty much anything that involves a lot of brain work. Even everyday things.

Last year I recall being frustrated with how pooped I’d get wrapping presents and how I was unable to assist with the Christmas tree as much as I would have wanted. This year, I hope to make some more milestones by stepping it up from last year and being able to do more.

Dave, as usual, has been wonderfully supportive and caring. I still don’t know what I’ve done to deserve him, but I’m a lucky woman all the way around.