Fatigue, Shmatigue!

I’m beginning to feel some energy coming back, or perhaps it’s because I have worked two days from home and took a real drive in the car. Getting back to a normal life is part of recovery, but fatigue is still evident.

The Brain Aneurysm Foundation has some really good explanations as to WHY one is so easily tired after an aneurysm. They say:“After an aneurysm, many people report that their energy is diminished after relatively little activity or effort. It is natural to want to return to previous activity levels as quickly as possible and many survivors become disturbed when fatigue gets in the way. Their frustration is often rooted in the belief that inactivity equals “laziness” or poor effort.”

Even though I’ve been through this process before, just on a different level, and KNOW the fatigue would be a part of it, it IS still frustrating. The BAF also says:“You should keep in mind that fatigue is a necessary part of the recovery process. Fatigue should be considered a positive sign of progress, rather than a negative sign that indicates poor effort, or ongoing disease process, or a “plateau” in the rehabilitation process.”

The following statement is the one I found to be the most telling and the best explanation on fatigue:“After a brain aneurysm, brain function is disrupted by damage to complex networks of brain cells (neurons). These networks must be repaired for improvement in function to take place, an internal process that occurs over time. The healing process takes energy that the brain did not have to expend before there was damage to the neural network. The brain works at recovering function 24 hours a day and in many different ways, including the reorganization of functions, the re-growth of damaged brain cells, and the cleaning up of debris. Without your knowledge, the brain diverts some of its energy to the process of healing, a process that significantly subtracts from available energy levels.”

It makes perfect sense that the brain needs energy for healing, and as a result, it diverts some energy usually used elsewhere to heal the brain and nerves. I get it now!

“It is important to emphasize that fatigue cannot be overcome by an act of willpower, or by making an extra effort. The human body knows when it needs rest and that rest is a restorative process.”

Now it’s a game of balancing being lazy with getting the rest I need.

Day of Rest?

Today was supposed to be my day of rest after working yesterday, but I’m not sure I did such a good job of it. I was tired when I woke up…or rather when my cat woke me up, over and over again, but not as bad as I was expecting to be. I’m pretty sure the good nap yesterday helped.

I wanted to try driving again and Dave needed to go in to town, so I offered to drive. This time I drove into town and back home. It was a bit of a struggle on the way back as I could feel my confidence and awareness waining. It was the perfect amount of time and distance to try this out again.

Had a pretty good headache when I got home and needed to lay down and rest. I did not rest enough though. Should have napped. Tomorrow could be interesting, but I got a full drive in today, so I’m proud of myself for getting that done. Need to do it more. One day at a time.

First Day of Work (at home)

I’m going to try working at home this week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday to see how that goes for me. I got up early, washed my hair, fed the cats and ate breakfast at my normal “work” time then at 7 a.m. I made the short commute into my home office. I need to get used to sitting at a computer screen all day again.

I did okay until about 9 a.m. then had to step away from the computer and walk around a bit. At 10:30 I needed to close my eyes for about 15 minutes, so I set the timer on my computer and sat back in the chair. Ate lunch and walked for 10 minutes inside, then pretty much pooped out around 2 p.m. I TRIED to get a full 8 hours in, but couldn’t keep my eyes open after 7.5 hours. Then slept for an hour and a half.

Not sure how I’ll feel tomorrow, but it’s a start. I received a beautiful floral bouquet from a friend and that sure put a smile on my face and perked me up!

Support Group

Yesterday was a major outing for me and a major event for the state of Maine and anyone who has been effected by brain aneurysms.

Maine Brain Aneurysm Support GroupThe first meeting of the Maine Brain Aneurysm Support Group was held in Portland and by all accounts it was a great success. The Brain Aneurysm Foundation sent two of their most notable representatives to join us and helped us get the ball rolling. The medical community was also highly represented, which was most important.

We have been trying to get a support group going for years and it took getting the Brain Aneurysm Foundation directly involved, to get the local medical community involved…which was what we needed and had failed to do successfully in the past.

When I left the hospital after my brain aneurysm ruptured in 2006, I was given nothing but a book on traumatic brain injury, not an aneurysm, and sent on my merry way. If I hadn’t found an online community of other brain aneurysm survivors, I would have floundered and felt very alone. My doctor at the time had nothing in his office on what to expect while recovery from a rupture nor any info to assist newly diagnosed patients.

That is our goal with this support group: to assist those recovering, to comfort those who have lost, and to educate those who are newly diagnosed. And now, with the local medical community involved, our mere existence will be generated amongst medical newsletters and calendars and we hope to help many more people…and perhaps save lives through our Brain Aneurysm Awareness events.

It was wonderful to see new faces and hear their stories. Some more challenging than others and it makes us aware we’ll need to address many different topics throughout the months as each story is different. The brain aneurysm is what binds us and simply knowing we’re not alone in our struggles is what this group is all about. There IS a community of people effected by brain aneurysms throughout the state of Maine.

I was exhausted afterwards, but it was worth it. I wouldn’t have missed the first meeting unless I had to, because we’ve worked so hard to get to this point. For some reason the side of my face near my incision around my jaw and ear has been swollen the last couple of days and remained so last night, so I put ice on it for a time, then promptly fell completely asleep for the entire night. I needed that full-night’s sleep that’s for sure.