Author: heiditea

Tea Lover

Yet Again

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I had another ocular migraine last night. This one had a little bit of pain associated with it. I can’t imagine why! Maybe a fight with your boyfriend and then your boss quitting during the week will do that! LOL I was due for a stronger migraine, but I’ll still take these ocular ones over any others.

After having a horrible day during the week however, I was pleasantly surprised by a co-worker who made a point of yelling across the parking lot on our way out to our cars to tell me how good I was looking and that it was so great to see me looking so healthy and that it was like nothing had ever happened.

It made me feel good and I sure needed that right now. I still have days where an odd head or eye pain starts me to let those feelings that something more serious is wrong, but so far, I’m able to fight them off. I think because in hind sight I think I DID have symptoms before my annie ruptured but I didn’t now it, that I now try to remember if I was feeling something then, that I’m feeling now. I suppose that’s an issue that will always be a part of my life now.

I really am doing well although I still have stamina issues and get out of breath easily and my eyes still bother me when staring at my computer too long. But, for the most part, I feel good and am enjoying my garden and our new boat.

8 months ago, it was a very different story. I’m very lucky and anytime I’m reminded of that, is a good thing.

A Test

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Dave and I drove to NY to visit my family for the first time since my rupture last October. My sister Dori had flown in for my surgery, but no one else has seen me since I was in ICU. Thankfully, I looked much better than I did then!

Dave did all the driving and it’s probably a good thing. The drive was very tiring for me. I was still awake at the end of the 11 hour drive, but I can’t say I was too alert! LOL We did a lot of visiting, but kept our schedule relatively open to leave us free time so I could rest…which I didn’t do much of. Only a couple of days during the trip did I really “feel” it. As I walked, I kept waiting for my hind quarters to catch up with me….meaning my arse was really dragging, but it was all worth it.

One amazing thing. We stayed at a new hotel and casino. I really wasn’t sure I’d even be able to go into the casino with it’s flashing lights, bells & whistles. So, I was expecting to not even go in, but lo and behold, it didn’t bother me. The first trip through was a little rough, mostly because they allowed smoking, but was extremely well ventilated. That kind of threw me. We did not gamble, so I’m not sure if actually playing a slot machine would have bothered me. I wasn’t going to push it.

I know I waited too long to make this trip, 7 months, but I really wanted to make sure I was okay and that I could do the trip. I would have hated to get there and be useless and not be able to spend the quality time that I did with my friends and family.

Now getting back into the swing of work again, I’m really feeling the strain of looking at my computer all day as I hadn’t looked at a computer screen for seven days. I don’t think I went that long without seeing a computer when I was in the hospital. I worry about my job longevity on days the strain of looking at the screen all day bothers me. I guess until I CAN’T do this job anymore, I won’t worry about it…easier said than done though!

For those of you who have suffered a ruptured aneurysm, or have a family member who has, be patient with them and enjoy any time you have with them….it may just be your last. Savor those moments.

How Long?

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As I wrote last weekend, I’ve done it again. I over-did it in a short period of time this morning and am already wiped out and it’s only Saturday afternoon. I’m still amazed at how tiring things that require a lot of thinking can still be.

Meetings wear me out at work I’m still discovering. Or just having to think so much. When my brain has to work that hard, it’s still tiring. I wonder how long this will last? Two more months? Four more months? A year? I guess I’ll know when I know, but it’s a tad frustrating when I can work out on the rowing machine for 15 minutes and not get that tired, but things that make me think, just wipe me out.

Fatigue

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I’m amazed at how some activities still wipe me out. Last Saturday I did a little bit of gardening work. I pruned what’s left of my rose bushes, then proceeded to yank out a bunch of day lilies that have invaded other areas of the garden.

Compared to past years, the hours I spend out there doing this were minor, but for me…this year, it was a lot. I had myself fooled into believing because I was sitting down on the ground, that this would ease the exertion and energy spent. NOT!

I was tired Saturday night, but NOTHING like I was Sunday. I didn’t have a headache, just didn’t feel great and had absolutely no energy by mid-morning. I planted some pansies out on the deck and filled a new baltimore oriole feeder, but it was certainly nothing that would tired me out to any extent…at least it didn’t used to.

I’m still finding things effect me. I’m taking things slower, yet at the same time, I’m losing weight and exercising more. I’m in better shape, but I still can’t quite do the things I used to. I just might not be as sore as I used to, due to the yoga. I don’t know if that will change in a short time, or a long time…or not at all. I have to keep reminding myself that just 7 1/2 months ago, things could have been very different for me. Not years, but months. I’m still recovering and it’s days like Sunday that remind me of that. Slowing down isn’t a bad thing. Stopping to smell what’s left of my roses is a good thing. So what if there are a few weeds. Just do a few at a time. The garden cops won’t come to my house and arrest me!