That Little Voice

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It’s funny…for the most part, I rarely think about my small unruptured aneurysm on a daily basis. I know it’s there, but I don’t know yet if it has grown in the year since it was discovered or if there are any issues with the larger one that ruptured. I’ll find that out when I go for an angiogram sometime in June AFTER our trip to England & Scotland.

However, with my impending gallbladder surgery FINALLY happening this Friday, that little annoying voice in the back of my head that reminds me of the aneurysms has reared its ugly head. Not that I’m overly anxious or nervous about the gallbladder surgery, but it still is surgery…I’ll still be put under anesthesia and I’ll be having things inserted and an actual organ removed from my body. Things “could” happen….that little voice says.

After yelling at that voice to leave me alone, it’s a simple procedure, and it has NOTHING to do with you for a change, it finally does quiet down. I’ve been treated very well at Maine Medical Center and I liked the surgeon and her staff, so I have no qualms about the procedure itself. I’ve survived a ruptured brain aneurysm, a stenting and recoiling, so this should be a walk in the park, right? I hope so.

I don’t want to think about those darn aneurysms again until I have to. So you just listen to me little voice…this has nothing to do with you and those pesky brain aneurysms. Silence!

Knowledge is Power

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I have developed gallstones in my gallbladder. Had my first attack a few weeks prior to the Christmas holiday. After watching my diet and making sure I didn’t over-do it with the fat content, I still had another attack. So, the decision to have my gallbladder removed was made and surgery is scheduled for the end of this month.

I had a meeting with my surgeon to discuss the particulars and give him my background. As we were sitting down with one of his associates, she informed us that her uncle had had a ruptured brain aneurysm. Luckily he survived but it gave quite a scare to them all.

He has 12 brothers and sisters and they ALL decided to have themselves checked out to see if they were at risk for aneurysms or possible HAD one. Luckily everyone was annie-free, but another brother found another medical issue that wouldn’t have been discovered had he not had the scan. Now, it’s something they can monitor and treat before it gets too bad that more serious medical procedures would be needed.

Dave and I were both THRILLED that her uncle’s entire family took it upon themselves to get checked. I’ve been unable to get my two older sisters to get scanned. Both are at high risk due to a sibling and two cousins having aneurysms and they’re also both smokers.

I know they’re scared and I know money is an issue as well. BUT the discovery of an unruptured aneurysm is much better than discovering it as it ruptures….I know….I have gone through both. The rupture did not allow me any options and could have not only caused death, but serious brain damage.

The discovery of another aneurysm DOES allow me to have the power to control it somewhat. I now know it’s there and I can work with my Dr. to monitor it and determine a course of action SHOULD it be needed. There’s alway the odds that nothing will have to be done, but at least I know it’s there and I know to get it looked at and monitor it. I don’t live my life in fear of a rupture because as we’re monitoring it, it hasn’t grown considerably and it may never grow, but at least I’M the one watching it and I’M the one who will determine, if the time comes, to have surgery to fix it.

Knowledge is power!! If you, or a loved one has had a ruptured brain aneurysm or has discovered an unruptured one, please get scanned. It could save your life.

Christmas Memory

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As I was finishing up wrapping Christmas gifts for Dave and I today, I was reminded of five years ago and how frustrating Christmas was for me. Yes, I was thankful I was alive, but I was frustrated because I couldn’t enjoy Christmas like I previously had.

Just wrapping gifts was exhausting and I most certainly wouldn’t have been able to wrap gifts all afternoon like I did today. A simple task for most, but at that time, two months after my rupture, it was daunting…and frustrating.

I look back now on my blog entry from that year (2006), and have to smile because I’ve come so far since that day and I am so lucky to be here wrapping gifts at all.

For those of you still struggling, don’t give up. It WILL get better. Baby steps. Just take it day by day and celebrate the small victories…like getting ONE gift wrapped. You’re doing great!

Happy 5th Annie-Versary to Me!

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Open this entry to view my anniversary video.

5th Annie-Versary